The State of Black Tie: Your Observations

[Cause Moe]

My grandfather was a strictly-middle-class salesman and accountant, and never had any servants. He told me that Black Tie was standard evening wear before the second world war, and he would have been embarassed to be seen in the evening wearing the same suit he wore to work.

 

[Sreezy36]

My grandfather was a strictly-middle-class salesman and accountant, and never had any servants. He told me that Black Tie was standard evening wear before the second world war, and he would have been embarassed to be seen in the evening wearing the same suit he wore to work.

So your grandfather ate dinner with family every single night with a tuxedo on? 7 days a week 365 days a year prior to WW2?

 

[Cause Moe]

No; when he went out. I should have said, "seen in public."

 

[Sreezy36]

No; when he went out. I should have said, "seen in public."

that's pretty much what I said. Dinner parties, social events, and public gatherings. I have my doubts that it was common place on a day to day basis regardless of the social contexts. But I could be wrong.

But the reality is that for the upper class of that area, eating with guest at dinner could very well have been a daily occurrence.

 

[Texasmade]

My grandfather was a strictly-middle-class salesman and accountant, and never had any servants. He told me that Black Tie was standard evening wear before the second world war, and he would have been embarassed to be seen in the evening wearing the same suit he wore to work.

Kirby Allison would be so jealous of your grandfather

 

[The Dirty Pigeon]

While I look forward to the occasional black tie event, a couple of events I attended in recent years faced pressure from invitees to relax the dress code—surprisingly from many of the ladies who didn’t want to have to buy or wear a long dress.

 

[Pascal1980]

Here in Germany the real "Black Tie" events are extremly few. Ladies like to dress in a normal evening dress. Men wear their suits, if they have any, and often without a tie and black or brown plain derbies one can buy in any department store. That's it! In the opera me wearing a nightblue suit with polished black oxfords and of course a tie and white poecket square was one of the few men wearing a suit at all!

The culture scene is somewhat alternative in Germany and often does not like to dress up.

I do not know therefore any black tie events here in Frankfurt.

Best regards

Pascal

 

[DorianGreen]

Here in Germany the real "Black Tie" events are extremly few. Ladies like to dress in a normal evening dress. Men wear their suits, if they have any, and often without a tie and black or brown plain derbies one can buy in any department store. That's it! In the opera me wearing a nightblue suit with polished black oxfords and of course a tie and white poecket square was one of the few men wearing a suit at all!

The culture scene is somewhat alternative in Germany and often does not like to dress up.

I do not know therefore any black tie events here in Frankfurt.

Best regards

Pascal

I hear you, same depressing view in Berlin. The whole dress culture is so sadly low in Germany.

 

[classless]

Where I am now in the southern US, all the galas and events that were traditionally black tie still specify 'black tie' on the invite, but amazingly a majority of men just ignore the dress code and wear the closest thing they own, which looks something like a gray suit, white shirt with button-down collar, colorful bow tie, black loafers, etc. Or sometimes dinner jackets with no tie.

I own a nice tux and ironically feel self-conscious in 'correct' black tie. What to do- hold the line or try to compromise?

 

[JJ Katz]

Are there any black tie events actually?

I get seldom invited to weddings, where the groom and me often the only ones in suits.

I do not play in casinos.

I am not a movie actor for public servants in the intelligence services with problems concerning alcohol and toxic masculinity.

I seldom go to the opera or theater where I am wearing a suit are one of the few, unfortunately.

I wear suits in office, not always and for client meetings, and then I am often the only one with a tie and pocket square.

So am I a social outcast or are the actual black tie events so few that one has to purposefully look for them?

Best regards

Pascal

In London they are not too rare. Of course, we routinely organise such events, just for fun.

Black-tie dinner at Fischer’s – Wonderland City

wonderland.city

DJs at the Delaunay! – Wonderland City

wonderland.city

Back to Black…Tie! – Wonderland City

wonderland.city

As the inimitable @Andy57 has often stated, you make your own occasion to put on your gladrags.

 

[classicalthunde]

Are there any black tie events acutally?

I get seldom invited to weddings, where the brom and me often the only ones in suits.

I do not play in casinos.

I am not a movie actor for public servants in the intelligence services with problems concerning alcohol and toxic masculinity.

I seldom go to the opera or theater where I am wearing a suit are one of the few, unfortunately.

I wear suits in office, not always and for client meetings, and then I am often the only one with a tie and pocket square.

So am I a social outcast or are the actual black tie events so few that one has to purposefully look for them?

Best regards

Pascal

Since I bought my tux 6ish years ago, I've worn it to on average about once a year (3 weddings, 2 fundraisers, and 2 NYE parties as a semi-gag). I live in an cosmopolitan area but am far from high society.

I find its easier to find an excuse to wear one if you have it, I could have certainly worn a standard suit or sport coat combo to any of the events above and not been out of place.

I don't have the balls to wear it "out" in public to a non-event

 

[Andy57]

As the inimitable @Andy57 has often stated, you make your own occasion to put on your gladrags.

I have stated that, many times, and we do. I don't need anyone's permission or invitation to wear black tie. As long as a restaurant has white tablecloths, it is a black tie candidate. Indeed, I'll be at a black tie dinner in Chicago tomorrow evening.

I don't have the balls to wear it "out" in public to a non-event

Once you experience the crowd parting like the red sea you'll be hooked. Be the best-dressed person in the room. Be the person everyone else wishes they had the balls to be. Once you get over the trepidation of drawing attention to yourself, you can do whatever you want.

We recently hired a local photographer to shoot photos of us in a small town in Bergamo, Italy. The town, even on a grey Sunday in January, was crowded with locals and tourists. So we sort of used the crowds as a backdrop. The photographer's assistant told us later that people kept coming up to her and asking who we were, if we were models or movie stars (I'm not kidding). We did not pay attention to the stares. It's simply a matter of being comfortable in your own skin and having the confidence to not be concerned about the crowd.

But, if wearing a dinner jacket is not something you care to do for its own sake, that is perfectly okay, too.

 

[Cause Moe]

I told this story before.

I went directly from an orchestra concert, where the orchestra (and none of the audience) was in Black Tie, and then I went straight to a brewpub where my friends were playing in a blues/jam band. Everyone noticed when I walked in, in Black Tie (dark green grosgrain tie, actually, with red socks and shoelaces, and a holly sprig boutonniere. It was a Christmas concert). The bartender served me immediately! The floozies at the bar struck up conversations with me. Nobody in the band recognized me at first, even when I walked up between songs and shook the sax player's hand. Full disclosure, they hadn't seen me since before the pandemic, and they had never seen me slim and short-haired. Pre-pandemic, I was fat and long-haired. And they had never seen me in formal wear.

They told me to get my trumpet and join the band on stage for the rest of the evening. Quite the spectacle!

 

[SpallaPerfetta]

We need to be the ones to set the tone. I'm not suggesting we should wear tails to the supermarket, but my philosophy is to go one step above what you expect everyone else will wear. You may never know but you could be the one who inspires another man to go home and google "wear to buy a tuxedo."

 

[JohnMRobie]

I doubt this to be true. From my understanding, Black tie was primarily reserved for a dinner party with guests and evening social gatherings (such as fine dining in the evening or an ocean liner dinner). Also, 100 years ago fine dining restaurants were not commonplace. The patron demographic was also primarily the upper/upper middle class.

I strongly doubt that the upper class wore black tie every evening for dinner.

Sounds like a good topic for lunch tomorrow to get some stories about poppy and great-granddaddy and what they wore to dinner, when, etc.