People cheaping out on s#!t

[VKK3450]

I started to write it out in full, but it got too long for my male brain. Details as necessary.

Shorter story:

• My girl is organizing a bachelorette party (not her responsibility but the original organizer flaked)
  
• She put in a **** ton of effort and fronted about 2,500 Pounds (~4,000 US dollars) to cover house, drinks, food, etc for 10 girls.
  
• One girl is now backing out (you expect some flakes)
  
• Same girl also invited another friend who is flaking (now cause of cost of two flakes)
  
• When asked if she was coming or even paying for her share, she lied and said she already said she wasn't coming (contrary email trail is present) and is now floating made up stories about emails she supposedly sent.

So now this girl has stiffed my girlfriend for about 250 Pounds (400 dollars) and is covering her tracks by lying about having never committed. It would be easy to blow her out of the water by publishing the email trail, but it seems like stooping to her level.

So what to do? It's not small money, but its not bank breaking. This girl is not part of our social circle, but she we have a lot of connected friends. We don't particularly care what other people think, but ultimately the weekend is about the bride, and the last thing my girl wants to do is escalate some conflict which ruins the brides weekend.

But damn, you can't let punk ass F***ers get away with ****.

Gimme your wisdom SF

K

 

[VKK3450]

To let you know, I figured that I would obnoxiously discuss it loudly the next time we were in a social situation with said girl. Asking whether she thought her behaviour was appropriate and why she didn't have the decency to set the record straight and make good on her commitment.

My lady does not think it is appropriate.

K

 

[sho'nuff]

was it initially agreed upon a budget of up to 4000 dollars or was this something that happened along the way while your girlfriend organized it?

 

[VKK3450]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

was it initially agreed upon a budget of up to 4000 dollars or was this something that happened along the way while your girlfriend organized it?

Cost per person was sent out before money was paid. It was factored based upon total cost / # of people attending. Total cost has not changed, but since 2 people dropped out either cost per person increases or my girl eats cost of 2 extra people.

Everyone knew how much it would cost them beforehand.

K

 

[Connemara]

Forty lashes, MINIMUM, seems appropriate.

 

[sho'nuff]

like you mentioned, your girlfriend seems to like to take the high-road, since you got 7 persons left, i think it would be best to just absorb the cost of the other 3 and split it amongst everyone. i dont know, i know this is harder said than done, but on a smaller scale, if it means anything, ive had this sort of thing happen to me and my wife as well.
where we agreed upon a cost, we put up the work, and a couple people back out and we just covered the cost. i mean it was like an additional 40-50 bucks for everyone, but we did not let that ruin our (everyones') happy moment, and it was known thereafter who these acquaintances were to everyone's minds, and it did bring a little shame to them. i thought it was worthwhile though.
yours is about another 170 bucks per person, i know it would be hard , but i d still say dont let a few low-leveled acquaintances bring down your good thing here that your girlfriend setup for everyone.


whatever you do, dont make this event about them (Those that flaked)
make everyone remember a year or two down the road, that this was a happy event.

dont do anything where it will give the flakers' their mark on this in memory.

 

[RedScarf7]

Originally Posted by VKK3450

But damn, you can’t let punk ass F***ers get away with ****. K
I would, in most cases, advocate exposing her lies and deceit. Since it is a wedding I would let it slide for the simple fact that it isn't worth ruining the occasion for the bride/groom. I think exposing her becomes less of an option the closer you (or your lady friend) are to the bride/groom. In future I would avoid similar commitments with the punk ass F***ers, though.

 

[Rambo]

Whatever you do, don't say anything to the girl personally. IF your GF wants to handle it face to face with her, let her. I've never seen a situation where the boyfriend tells off the friend end well. She ends up running to the girlfriend telling her how mean you were. Then you get **** from the girlfriend for being an asshole to her even though you were just trying to help.

 

[celery]

Let the gf sort it. Also, see if you know anyone who is also a friend that may like to join them on short notice (hell you can even offer to pay half for them and still be better off).

 

[Lucky7]

I call for a 12 round boxing match with no gloves. It is the only way to solve this.

 

[JohnGalt]

The cost should be split among the remaining parties.

The girl who is flaking out should do something out of goodwill (e.g. send a bunch of booze) but shouldn't be expected to pay the full amount.

Don't let the bride find out about it.

 

[hamish5178]

I'd split the cost among the remaining parties. $400/7 or whatever. Then after the wedding, if people are sore over that amount, get the girl to pay everyone.

 

[VKK3450]

Yea, the 400 will end up being split between the remaining girls which is a bit crap as everyone was already told what it would cost, and now my girlfriend has to go back and ask for more money.

I'm just really surprised that people commit to things, invite others (incurring more costs), then bail out and don't take responsibility. The biggest thing though is that she is lying about it to other people, saying she never committed which will make my girlfriend look bad when she has to go back and ask for more money from others.

I'm considering peeing in her mailbox.

K

 

[TheIdler]

I'm just really surprised that people commit to things, invite others (incurring more costs), then bail out and don't take responsibility

The situation sucks, but it's hardly surprising. People do this kind of crap all the time, in my experience.

+1 on you not getting involved personally. Let the gf handle it & just give her your support.

 

[Joe Cool]

I'd bet at least a few of the invitees flat out can't spare (or just don't want to spend) 400 bucks a head for a party.

That being said, there are always plenty of deadbeats in every crowd.

Sad but true.