Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread

[JohnMRobie]

Alright, I'm trying to nail down attire for my wedding and running into mostly the same problems as the last two pages in the thread, with a little variation. I'd love some advice if you all could give it, any and all thoughts are welcome. Here are the deets, let me know if I left anything out:

Wedding ceremony is at 5PM in early april, followed by cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing. Venue is a hotel ballroom with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side and distinctive blue and grey carpeting. Accordingly we are going with an art deco ish vibe, focusing on blue grey and white in general, trying to mix in some gold and spring green.

General attire is cocktail. I am going to wear a tux. I have 6 groomsmen, probably half of whom own a suit and none of whom own a tux. They will all be traveling for the wedding so I am trying to be price conscious.

Here are the options I am considering for myself, probably MTO through Kent Wang. I am not tied to the "rules" so much as what I think will look good while still being "classy" (I know I know following the "rules" is "classy"). I think the groomsmen attire will fall pretty clearly out of that:

1. Classic black tux, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Love the classiness and classiness, but color doesn't match other colors that well and isn't the best color for me (although I was surprised how much I liked the look of a pretty traditional Zegna tux I tried on).
2. Black tux with black velvet jacket, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Velvet is a little more fun/matches better and deeper colors/textures look better on me. Haven't been able to try one on yet. Only downside is missing that straight classiness you give up for the velvet flash.
3. Midnight blue tux with ___ lapel/trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Having a bit of a hard time knowing how dark midnight is - most pictures I've found online of this seem pretty aggressively blue.
   2. I do like the idea of a compromise of blue in daylight and black-looking at night, probably matches wedding aesthetic better.
   3. Still pretty classy/formal.
   4. Other main downside is that in general I do not love black trim on blue tuxes, and I am not sure what my options for lapel will be otherwise.
4. Navy blue tux with midnight trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes, or navy suits.
   1. This is kind of where I started. It's very much non traditional which worries me, but I think will match the aesthetic well and look good, and the navy and midnight suits me.
   2. Only really came off this option once I saw how good black tuxes look.
   3. Inspiration in green here: https://tomandlorenzo.com/2017/06/2017-cfda-fashion-awards-matt-bomer-in-todd-snyder/
5. Midnight blue velvet tux, groomsmen wear something tbd, will probably leave it up to them for this one.
   1. Maximum fun, probably most worried about it being too blue and what trousers to wear with it. In my mind trousers should be midnight wool, not black, but I'm guessing in your minds I just shouldn't do this.

In case you can't tell, I am bad at decisions. I am happy I liked the black classic tux because it is easy to get and a good default. I am guessing I am going to get a lot of people telling me to stop being a 🤡 and take option 1, and I embrace that feedback and value it. I'm getting married on April fool's day, I know who I am, and as such my current preference is for options 4 and 5 if I can get suitable fabric.

Thanks for bearing with me, and happy early new years to all!

Option 1. Not sure what you mean about colors matching. Proper black tie matches anything.

 

[solid_olid]

Option 1. Not sure what you mean about colors matching. Proper black tie matches anything.

Yeah sorry that wasn’t clear - I edited to clarify I meant the blue and grey dominant wedding colors. I’m not a great color visualized so it might actually be totally fine where as I’m thinking it’s just mostly fine. Here’s a picture of the venue if that helps/matters.

 

[JohnMRobie]

Yeah sorry that wasn’t clear - I edited to clarify I meant the blue and grey dominant wedding colors. I’m not a great color visualized so it might actually be totally fine where as I’m thinking it’s just mostly fine. Here’s a picture of the venue if that helps/matters. View attachment 1873235

If you were trying to match a tie or something then sure. A classic black tux with a black tie and white shirt go with anything though.

 

[gimpwiz]

Alright, I'm trying to nail down attire for my wedding and running into mostly the same problems as the last two pages in the thread, with a little variation. I'd love some advice if you all could give it, any and all thoughts are welcome. Here are the deets, let me know if I left anything out:

Wedding ceremony is at 5PM in early april, followed by cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing. Venue is a hotel ballroom with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side and distinctive blue and grey carpeting. Accordingly we are going with an art deco ish vibe, focusing on blue grey and white in general, trying to mix in some gold and spring green.

General attire is cocktail. I am going to wear a tux. I have 6 groomsmen, probably half of whom own a suit and none of whom own a tux. They will all be traveling for the wedding so I am trying to be price conscious.

Here are the options I am considering for myself, probably MTO through Kent Wang. I am not tied to the "rules" so much as what I think will look good while still being "classy" (I know I know following the "rules" is "classy"). I think the groomsmen attire will fall pretty clearly out of that:

1. Classic black tux, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Love the classiness and classiness, but color doesn't match the other wedding colors that well and isn't the best color for me (although I was surprised how much I liked the look of a pretty traditional Zegna tux I tried on).
2. Black tux with black velvet jacket, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Velvet is a little more fun/matches better and deeper colors/textures look better on me. Haven't been able to try one on yet. Only downside is missing that straight classiness you give up for the velvet flash.
3. Midnight blue tux with ___ lapel/trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Having a bit of a hard time knowing how dark midnight is - most pictures I've found online of this seem pretty aggressively blue.
   2. I do like the idea of a compromise of blue in daylight and black-looking at night, probably matches wedding aesthetic better.
   3. Still pretty classy/formal.
   4. Other main downside is that in general I do not love black trim on blue tuxes, and I am not sure what my options for lapel will be otherwise.
4. Navy blue tux with midnight trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes, or navy suits.
   1. This is kind of where I started. It's very much non traditional which worries me, but I think will match the aesthetic well and look good, and the navy and midnight suits me.
   2. Only really came off this option once I saw how good black tuxes look.
   3. Inspiration in green here: https://tomandlorenzo.com/2017/06/2017-cfda-fashion-awards-matt-bomer-in-todd-snyder/
5. Midnight blue velvet tux, groomsmen wear something tbd, will probably leave it up to them for this one.
   1. Maximum fun, probably most worried about it being too blue and what trousers to wear with it. In my mind trousers should be midnight wool, not black, but I'm guessing in your minds I just shouldn't do this.

In case you can't tell, I am bad at decisions. I am happy I liked the black classic tux because it is easy to get and a good default. I am guessing I am going to get a lot of people telling me to stop being a 🤡 and take option 1, and I embrace that feedback and value it. I'm getting married on April fool's day, I know who I am, and as such my current preference is for options 4 and 5 if I can get suitable fabric.

Thanks for bearing with me, and happy early new years to all!

There's a hilariously long, 600+ page "state of black tie" thread: https://www.styleforum.net/threads/the-state-of-black-tie-your-observations.275650/

I spend a few minutes reading it, because it's funny and also pretty interesting. I don't recommend you read the whole thing, though I might heavily recommend http://blacktieguide.com as it will very politely but firmly steer you away from most of the options.

Here are my thoughts.

1. Do not try to match the ballroom decor. You will fail, and also look ridiculous, as would anyone else.

2. The only people I've seen break black-tie rules successfully are those who've already been around the block, owned tuxes and worn tuxes, seen what others wear, and really developed a sense of style. Respectfully, none of this applies to you. I suggest you fight the urge to create a black tie startup that disrupts the state of black tie and re-invents it and becomes the next big unicorn. Un/fortunately, long-running ideas of style are not as fragile as fax machines and beige PCs. At minimum, tens of thousands of people truly did spend dozens of hours and thousands of today's dollars, over the past 100+ years, figuring out what made them look good and classy, within and sometimes outside of the limits of semi-formal etiquette. Save yourself trouble and just copy them for now. Which leads me into:

3. No navy tuxes. No blue tuxes unless it's so midnight that it's hard to tell it's midnight. A midnight tux at night makes an observant fellow question if it's black or midnight; if it is obviously blue, that ain't it.

4. Probably no velvet tuxes until you've already worn tuxes enough to know you want a velvet tux. You must avoid the appearance of being in a bath robe. More importantly, you must avoid the appearance of denying you're wearing a robe, or the appearance of being super stoked you got to wear something robe-adjacent because it's shiny and new ... if you have to ask, you're not pulling it off super well!

5. If you go midnight blue, wear black satin lapels. For the simplest reason that it's the most basic, most common combination and easiest to match cummerbund (or vest lapel facing, if silk and not self-faced) and bowtie. You are, of course, wearing waist covering and bowtie if you wear a tux - right?

6. If you go midnight blue, either midnight blue or black trousers will do fine.

7. Unless you look actually ill in a black tux, wear a black tux if you want. (Midnight blue will look black so same rules apply.) If you think it's a bad combo to the extent you fear wearing it, then you will not be properly at ease wearing it and thus should not.

That is a lot of words to say: if you want to wear a tux, wear the simplest 'prescribed' getup. And make sure it fits! Online MTM can take many months to get right.

Or just wear your best (or favorite) suit!




The second part of your question is how to dress your groomsmen. While many here on the forum only have groomsmen who either wear suits (or tuxes) regularly and thus own the correct-color suits, or tuxes, I have friends who don't, so I needed to get them all on the same page.

Obviously I did not ask them to buy suits; and as much as I wish my budget allowed it, I did not buy them suits either. We rented. The absolute most important part of the rental is good fit. Some shops do a good job - adequate quality clothes and alterations that work; shoulders are right, sleeves are right, chest and waist close enough, nobody really notices. Some shops do not do a good job. I cannot stress enough how much you need to find a shop that is good enough. (No rentals will be truly good, but good enough is good enough for folk that don't own suits.)

Once you find such a shop - perhaps you will even find multiple - you will be able to select from what they offer. Don't get too married to a specific idea. Adequate fit, adequate quality, let the poor light and good charm and flowing booze paper over any other flaws.

Make sure you and your groomsmen are wearing appropriate shoes. Especially for those who don't own suits, make sure they either own and come with appropriate footwear or that they buy some (or rent some.) I do not suggest renting shoes with suits. Among many many other reasons, they are unlikely to be comfortable for six-plus hours in it.

Also, make sure you and your groomsmen have all the little bits that matter. Especially if renting. A tux requires a matching bowtie, clean and well-shined black shoes, waist covering, a proper shirt (not just any white shirt - a french cuff shirt, wing or turndown collar, stiff, not a button-down collar, studs in the shirt if not fly front or rear-button - or at least mother-of-pearl buttons, preferably stiff front bib or pleated, links in the cuffs), and actual matching trousers (high-rise) and not just any old black trousers. It would be sad to rent your groomsmen tuxes and have them show up with no waist covering, barrel cuffs, plain buttons, a long tie, and scuffed brown shoes.

I am belaboring the point but I know multiple people whose tux rentals included plain white dress shirts and scuffed and creased plastic-y patent shoes.

Some here will say that wearing black tie without your groomsman wearing black tie is a bad thing; some here will say that wearing black tie without any of your guests wearing black tie is a bad thing; I am no etiquette guru. You know your audience better than we. I certainly wouldn't have had anyone at the wedding ashamed or angered that they did not wear or were not given the notice to wear a dinner suit to my wedding, had I or my groomsmen wore black tie. This choice I think is yours.

 

[solid_olid]

@gimpwiz that is an extremely helpful comment. From the thorough rebuttal of “don’t do something other than a standard black tux” to “if you insist on doing something else here is what you should do” and “general tips to make sure weddings go well”, I truly appreciate you taking the time to type that out and help me wise up. Thank you for being the SF angel I needed.

 

[ter1413]

Here’s a picture of the venue if that helps/matters. View attachment 1873235

You REALLY are taking into account the venue?

The venue "colors" are irrelevant! This is a wedding not a pop star performance in Vegas!

Black tux/tie is classic/elegant and will "match" anything/anywhere!

 

[Concordia]

At the risk of being a fogey: if nobody else wears black tie, don't bother with it yourself. Your best dark suit will be just great, and give your guests/party a sense of belonging to a social occasion. Dark grey or navy/midnight will be just fine no matter what the decor.

If the groomsmen can't afford and don't want suits, have them stick to dark navy blazers. The right shirt, tie, trousers, and shoes will make those sing.

 

[ALE]

I found this Corneliani stroller suit on eBay. I am thinking of using it for my own wedding this summer, depending on the dress of my fiancé.

 

[Concordia]

Just wear it. Her attire shouldn't matter too much, as long as she is wearing shoes.

 

[jeremygo]

You look outstanding! This should look great alongside any wedding dress your fiance picks.

 

[ALE]

Just wear it. Her attire shouldn't matter too much, as long as she is wearing shoes.

Haha I hope so. Berlin streets are dirty. My alternative would be a navy suit.

 

[Concordia]

Also fine. Toss a coin and don't get too stressed. It's just another dinner party for pretty much everyone there.

 

[ter1413]

I found this Corneliani stroller suit on eBay. I am thinking of using it for my own wedding this summer, depending on the dress of my fiancé. View attachment 1884460

Definitely go with this ^!

 

[Cidermonk]

Is Kent Wang still the best option when it comes to made to measure?

Getting married in late May at 5pm with reception to follow until 11pm. Anticipate temperatures in the 70s. Attire for the event will be listed as 'Formal'.
I have a jacket and pattern mostly dialed in with Luxire, and somewhat dialed in with Proper Cloth. Trying to decide whether it's worth going with Kent Wang versus Luxire. Any thoughts?

Planning to wear:
- Navy 3-piece suit (fabric undecided but looking for recommendations)
- Black Carmina oxfords with high shine
- Pantherella Navy socks
- Kent Wang White linen pocket square
- Proper Cloth white french cuff shirt
- Kent Wang / Sam Hober / Drakes wedding tie (glen plaid, etc.)

Though, in the back of my mind I truly love the idea of wearing a tuxedo but the event begins at 5pm and I don't anticipate many guests to arrive in black tie.

 

[jeremygo]

Is Kent Wang still the best option when it comes to made to measure?

Getting married in late May at 5pm with reception to follow until 11pm. Anticipate temperatures in the 70s. Attire for the event will be listed as 'Formal'.
I have a jacket and pattern mostly dialed in with Luxire, and somewhat dialed in with Proper Cloth. Trying to decide whether it's worth going with Kent Wang versus Luxire. Any thoughts?

Planning to wear:
- Navy 3-piece suit (fabric undecided but looking for recommendations)
- Black Carmina oxfords with high shine
- Pantherella Navy socks
- Kent Wang White linen pocket square
- Proper Cloth white french cuff shirt
- Kent Wang / Sam Hober / Drakes wedding tie (glen plaid, etc.)

Though, in the back of my mind I truly love the idea of wearing a tuxedo but the event begins at 5pm and I don't anticipate many guests to arrive in black tie.

Might be worth checking out No Man Walks Alone x Sartoria Carrara for MTM. Heard great things about their work - although I don't have direct experience.