Things your dumb friends post on facebook

[Gibonius]

Hurray, chemophobia!

 

[Neo_Version 7]



The Hitler is what gets me. Whether invoked ironically or earnestly, Hitler has to land on the downbeat. If there is a list, he must come at the top or the bottom, or both, not somewhere in the middle, and his graven image must ******* slap you in your face, not be relegated to a tiny little vignetted icon.

Blame the Buzzfeed generation

 

[gomestar]

full props to Foraz member dopey for bringing something important to my attention: "The nice thing about twitter, as opposed to Facebook, is that no one cares who is still working at the NY Times."


indeed, last night my Facebook news feed was shitted up with discussions about that leadership change and women's rights and unequal pay, and unsourced news stories that busted out all these theories behind the change, etc, etc.





foodguy is exempt from this rant.

 

[Douglas]

Jesus Christ, this Humans of New York page on FB is like a distillation of everything that is wrong with Facebook, and with the Whiniest Generation.

Every day it's a photo of some NYC douche with something I guess they think is some kind of profound quote that is a snapshot into their life. Usually then it's commented on by about a million people expressing their lame support. Here is today:

"Nobody came to my tenth birthday party. I have a very vivid memory of helping my mother set the table, then watching through the window as the sun slowly set, before finally realizing that nobody was coming. That moment pretty much set the themes for the rest of my life."

Comments include:

That is utterly heartbreaking and makes me want to hug the child in him... wow...

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

I understand how he feels. For those of us that didn't fit in, social misfits, not part of the group, childhood was a long, lonely, painful time. So many of the comments here are from people saying they would have gone to his party, but would they? Did you befriend the awkward, scared, weak, misfit in your class at school? I don't mean to be cynical, but childhood is a battleground of clamoring to be accepted, liked, part of the group. Very few would take the chance to be friends with the castaways.

This is probably the most caring page I've ever seen. First time on the internet I've seen people so determined to make others feel good about themselves, just for being Human. You all rock.

jesus christ people, are you really all this fragile?

 

[gomestar]

[insert picture of me looking stoic]

"I ran into a Starbucks bathroom only to find a clogged toilet. But i'm not a quitter and pooped anyways."

 

[Douglas]

it's totally begging for a satire troll account.

 

[lawyerdad]



Jesus Christ, this Humans of New York page on FB is like a distillation of everything that is wrong with Facebook, and with the Whiniest Generation.

Every day it's a photo of some NYC douche with something I guess they think is some kind of profound quote that is a snapshot into their life. Usually then it's commented on by about a million people expressing their lame support. Here is today:

Comments include:



jesus christ people, are you really all this fragile?

F**** you and your entitled superiority, you probably had you're whole fifth grade class at your tenth birthday party, even the girls.

 

[Connemara]

I am subjected to that drivel every day because several friends always like the Humans of NY posts. We are doomed.

[insert photo of Conne]

"I once lost the race for Douche of the Year. It really changed the trajectory of my life. Do you know how it feels to be so alone?"

 

[Douglas]

i went to an all-boys school

 

[Connemara]



i went to an all-boys school

Guessing you did a lot of "exploring" and "finding yourself."

 

[Douglas]

I've long since found myself, but I send out a daily search party, just in case.

 

[redcaimen]



I'm not even sure what's supposed to be a joke and what's supposed to be serious these days.

Welcome to ArchetypalYuppies world.

 

[suited]

There's a group of girls that makes an annual post on the anniversary they survived a car accident. It would be nice to see, except it's always done in a self-righteous way. Unfailingly it's characterized as god wanting them here for some reason, or god intervening for one reason or another. I'm normally indifferent to most things religious people say and do, but this one always irks me. I guess god just said **** off to the 5 year old who dies of cancer before he ever catches a baseball or goes fishing with his dad, right? Putting aside how ridiculous it is to think that there's some grand list of who's important and who's not - I'm guessing that if god were saving people based on their contributions, it wouldn't be the person who arranges displays at lingerie stores.

I have seen plenty of engagement photos, but these are a first for my news feed. Based on the size and placement of that watermark, going to go out on a limb here and say this couple doesn't have keen negotiating skills.

 

[HRoi]

They couldn't find a more impressive looking lake??

 

[js4design]

That isn't a lake - her water broke during the shoot.