How does one deal with a (legitimately) depressing situation?

[cheessus]

I just received word that a very close friend of mine just attempted suicide. We've been friends since we were little (kindergarten) and even though she moved away when she was 15, we've always stayed in touch very regularly over the past 10 years. I've even flown out to visit her on many occasions.

She is bipolar and apparently has been refusing to take her medication for quite some time. I really don't know why she would do such a thing or how. Apparently she's left a lot of notes saying why she did what she did, but I don't know the details other than that.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense; I'm just sitting around doing nothing waiting for phone calls. For those of you who have gone through such situations, what helped calm you/get you through those tough times?

 

[JayJay]

Originally Posted by cheessus

I just received word that a very close friend of mine just attempted suicide. We've been friends since we were little (kindergarten) and even though she moved away when she was 15, we've always stayed in touch very regularly over the past 10 years. I've even flown out to visit her on many occasions.

She is bipolar and apparently has been refusing to take her medication for quite some time. I really don't know why she would do such a thing or how. Apparently she's left a lot of notes saying why she did what she did, but I don't know the details other than that.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense; I'm just sitting around doing nothing waiting for phone calls. For those of you who have gone through such situations, what helped calm you/get you through those tough times?

All the best...

 

[tor]

 

[imhotep]

how badly set back is she?

 

[baseball_guy]

Originally Posted by cheessus

I just received word that a very close friend of mine just attempted suicide. We've been friends since we were little (kindergarten) and even though she moved away when she was 15, we've always stayed in touch very regularly over the past 10 years. I've even flown out to visit her on many occasions.

She is bipolar and apparently has been refusing to take her medication for quite some time. I really don't know why she would do such a thing or how. Apparently she's left a lot of notes saying why she did what she did, but I don't know the details other than that.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense; I'm just sitting around doing nothing waiting for phone calls. For those of you who have gone through such situations, what helped calm you/get you through those tough times?

Maybe you would feel better if you told your friend how her suicide attempt made you feel. Maybe she doesn't know people care.

 

[why]

I want to say something here but it's too insensitive.

 

[cheessus]

Originally Posted by JayJay

All the best...

Thanks.

Originally Posted by imhotep

how badly set back is she?

She is in really bad shape. From what I gather she is in a coma in critical condition.

Originally Posted by why

I want to say something here but it's too insensitive.

Thanks?

 

[cheessus]

Originally Posted by baseball_guy

Maybe you would feel better if you told your friend how her suicide attempt made you feel. Maybe she doesn't know people care.

My gut instinct is to fly out there right now.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by baseball_guy

Maybe you would feel better if you told your friend how her suicide attempt made you feel. Maybe she doesn't know people care.
I think that's a good start. Sometimes a suicide attempt is a cry for help. Other times it's not even a choice someone would make, were they in their right mind. Sometimes, even meds (in certain combinations) would induce suicidal behavior.

Originally Posted by why

I want to say something here but it's too insensitive.
I think I know where you're going, and I'll put it like this: some people just don't want to be saved. I'm related to someone like this. Maybe he'll hit bottom and pull up, maybe not, and no matter what I do: he fights it. In any case, you at least ought to pick up the phone and say - hey, you matter to me, damnit.

 

[Milhouse]

This is tough. A good friend of mine killed himself when we were in high school. I wish I knew something to say.

 

[West24]

Originally Posted by cheessus

My gut instinct is to fly out there right now.

i say do it then. dont look back in regret.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by baseball_guy

Maybe you would feel better if you told your friend how her suicide attempt made you feel. Maybe she doesn't know people care.

Yes.
Repeatedly.

 

[Douglas]

Awful, sad situation. I'm sorry for your friend, and I'm sorry for you. I'm not sure that someone who is bipolar and off her meds is going to be reachable with plain old reason or just talking and love from friends, though, FWIW. I think I understand why bipolars don't want to take their meds, but without them, just love and therapy are often not enough. In short, I don't know what to tell you - I'd encourage you to just be as good a friend as you can without overextending yourself. Good luck to all involved.

 

[RedLantern]

Originally Posted by Thomas

I think that's a good start. Sometimes a suicide attempt is a cry for help. Other times it's not even a choice someone would make, were they in their right mind. Sometimes, even meds (in certain combinations) would induce suicidal behavior.



I think I know where you're going, and I'll put it like this: some people just don't want to be saved. I'm related to someone like this. Maybe he'll hit bottom and pull up, maybe not, and no matter what I do: he fights it.

In any case, you at least ought to pick up the phone and say - hey, you matter to me, damnit.

Good post +1.

Even if it is a "cry for help", so what? Maybe she needs some help...

 

[cheessus]

For those of you who've offered support, my sincerest thanks.

I've been sitting around for the past couple of hours now thinking about many different things, including what may be perceived as negative comments from other posters.

My friend is one of the kindest, most caring, and sweetest person that I know. While I have been on the receiving end of her not-so-nice side, I've always focused on her gentler side, which I know to be her true self. I haven't the slightest idea what it is like for her to cope with her mental condition, but all I can do is keep in touch with her, occasionally see her (she lives across the country), help keep her spirits up, and offer her all of my support. While I feel as though I've long come to terms with the fact that that is all I can do, it is really difficult for me right now to come to accept that mentality.

Rationally, I feel that there are some people who cannot be helped, and that some really do just not want to live any more. And for those people who have the ability (and the luxury) of making cognizant choices, I respect their decisions. But for those who cannot, it is tough to not feel "responsible" (for lack of a better word), and I have no idea why I'm feeling so strongly about this. I've known that she doesn't always take her medication, and I've never really pressed that issue because she always seemed more bright and cheery when off them. Also I know how much she abhors her medication mostly because she sees it as shameful.

She is still in a coma in critical condition as of this time with no progress over the past 12 hrs. The thought that I might lose her is almost overwhelming, as she would be the first person close to me to pass away. However, I am most heartbroken by the fact that she is in so much pain right now physically and mentally. It makes me think that yes, she may be better off if she weren't living. At least she would be at peace with herself. And in a selfish sense, I'd be at peace with myself too.

Her attempt to me right now wasn't so much a cry for help. What she did (I will not divulge details) signaled that she really did not want to live any more. This is why I am so conflicted right now.

Sorry for the rambling. I'm actually heading to the airport in a few hours and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. This is helping me keep my head cool and my soul calm somewhat. Thanks.