How do I fix my social life/ make one?

[Nathan5653]

Will they seem indifferent and uninterested at the beginning, is that just normal?

I think it depends on the person. I've met a few people who seemed uninterested, but that's inevitable when you try to meet new people. That being said, I've been lucky enough to meet quite a few people who share the same interests as me.

I think one reason why people may seem uninterested at the beginning is that most conversations, at least when people just meet, are just really boring small talk in which neither party have any real interest in talking about. I hate small talk so I sometimes end up in deep and personal conversations very early with people I meet.

Like I said earlier, I think it's important that you try to find people to connect with, rather than just superficial friendships. I also have close friends with whom I share very little common interests and disagree on a lot of subjects, so while I think common interests certainly help, I don't think they are necessary.

 

[legorogel]

get a life, do something you love, be proud of it and please stop the bitching.

 

[magicman221]

You should join couchsurfing.com. Fun way to travel and/or meet people from a lot of different horizons in your city.

Basically the "magic formula" is "be interested and interesting" so aside of doing different things so that you have materials and experience to stuff into a conversation, always look for what you can learn from people, which means getting them to talk about what they're good at/with. Diversity is the key to finding the right kind of people you want to hangout with.

To help you with social interactions that you don't seem too good with, I'd recommend reading about seduction. Most PUA books are marketed crap, but The Mystery method is a bit different in the way it delivers a blueprint for successful social interactions. I used what was in it as a teacher to keep my class interested in what I had to say for example. More serious, The art of public speaking by Dale Carnegie can help you work on your confidence while speaking to a group.

Also, workout, it really clears your mind and being in shape can also be a conversation starter and raise your social value.

Just remember, nothing will ever change without you initiating the change. The important thing is knowing what to work on, and it's also the hardest part.

got the book reading it, its helpin.

 

[magicman221]

get a life, do something you love, be proud of it and please stop the bitching.

Well thats all im doin by myself i know my interests so im just workin on them like others on the thread said to do, and findin people that seem to have those interests. Srry man I dont have any other way to explain.

 

[magicman221]

How would changing universities help when you haven't joined clubs and don't know how to network with people. You need to get the basics down first. Don't be afraid about whether people in clubs are already friends. At the begining of the semester every club has meetings and fairs to try to recruit new memebrs. Attend these meetings/fairs for clubs of interest. The organizers will be really friends because they are in recruiting mode. Once you join there will likely be other new members. Through the normal activity of the club you will get to know them a bit. Go from there.

Freshman year of college I had a hard time meeting people and making friends too. I joined a fraternity which quickly solved that problem (wish I took the other clubs more seriously though).

well went to the club fair, gotta say i like the recruiting mode thing.

 

[magicman221]

when you ask someone to hang out and they take forever to respond/ dont respond is that a hint they don't want to hang out./ not interested in being friends. Club activities/meetings start next week so basically im just callin my current contacts in my town.

 

[SplasH]

Are you actually planning something to do or are you calling / contacting them with a "Hey wanna do something?" Kind of line ? Cause the second one is obviously less attractive...

 

[magicman221]

Are you actually planning something to do or are you calling / contacting them with a "Hey wanna do something?" Kind of line ? Cause the second one is obviously less attractive...

ya its the hey wanna do something line.

 

[SplasH]

Well then, piece of advice that also works for girls, always come up with a plan that you would be ok to do alone first, and ask people to come along. You'll end up with people with the same taste as you and will build stronger bonds over shared experiences or worst case scenario, doing something cool by yourself.

When i say plans i don't mean like "Hey wanna roadtrip across Nevada or skydive this week end ?" Just a "Hey wanna go see this movie ?" or " In for drinks @ that bar tonight ?" "Hey wanna jam ?" would be enough.

As i said before, if your friends aren't up to it, join couchsurfing.com, there's always a good chance that an event is planned in your city.

 

[magicman221]

What do you all consider an interesting person to talk to just curious?

 

[Nathan5653]

What do you all consider an interesting person to talk to just curious?

Depends on your own interests. For me, I dislike people who gossip too much; people who aren't afraid to have deep conversations greatly interest me.

 

[Piobaire]



What do you all consider an interesting person to talk to just curious?

One that is the opposite of you.

 

[magicman221]

One that is the opposite of you.

you say that as if you actually know me, can you explain more?

 

[magicman221]

Well then, piece of advice that also works for girls, always come up with a plan that you would be ok to do alone first, and ask people to come along. You'll end up with people with the same taste as you and will build stronger bonds over shared experiences or worst case scenario, doing something cool by yourself.

When i say plans i don't mean like "Hey wanna roadtrip across Nevada or skydive this week end ?" Just a "Hey wanna go see this movie ?" or " In for drinks @ that bar tonight ?" "Hey wanna jam ?" would be enough.

As i said before, if your friends aren't up to it, join couchsurfing.com, there's always a good chance that an event is planned in your city.

joined 3 events =)

 

[magicman221]

Depends on your own interests. For me, I dislike people who gossip too much; people who aren't afraid to have deep conversations greatly interest me.

i honestly think they are the best kind,