dress like a slob to fit in? what's your advice?

[barry221]

I'm a recent graduate and the place I work at requires conservative business dress.

Now my problem is that most men don't care about the nuances of finding a suit that fits and using tailoring. In fact I'm the only guy in the office with sleeves of the right length, shoulders that fit etc. This might be a good thing if I was a long-term employee or in management but as a newcomer to the workforce I feel like I stand out for what I'm wearing, and to me that's not a good thing. It doesn't help that I've got broad shoulders and I'm tall. The style I like is slim fit also, so the contrast between me and my co-workers dress style is stark.

I'm seriously considering sabotaging my style and buying bags for suits just so I fit in. Has anyone else done this?

Honestly I would have preferred if I was ignorant of what this forum has taught me. I would have been happy being one of the oblivious masses.

Thanks for nothing styleforum!

 

[cbbuff]

If your job required conservative business dress and your worst crime is wearing suits that fit, you should be fine, no need to "dumb it down." Just be sure not to get too flashy with your shoes and ties. And no PS.

But if your suits are super slim or "fashiony" looking, that could be a problem. If the suit is too slim is can stop being conservative business dress. Post a photo if you want opinions.

 

[archibaldleach]

It's one thing to tone things down by not wearing a suit everyday in a business casual office (almost common sense but there have been some threads...); it's another thing to deliberately purchase things that look bad. I get why you would think about this but I also cannot imagine a more foolish use of money than buying tailored clothing that does not fit you. Not trying to sound like a jerk but here's the thing. At the end of the day, you're still wearing conservative business dress. You might as well look good while doing it.

 

[jedwards]

You are over-thinking it. For the most part.

I have been in this position in the past myself.

If you are tall and in decent shape, you are always going to "stand out" so might as well look your best, and fortunately your dress code allows you to wear nice, smart clothes.

As long as you are not a 'dandy' or peacock about your style (excessive voluminous silk pocket squares, lapel pins, aggressive shoes for example) there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a well tailored suit, if others are also wearing a suit.

If anything, you may find you 'inspire' others to dress better, I have also known this.

If someone asks you about your clothes in the work environment (as I am sure many others have experienced here) you have to be quite non-committal and non-plussed...

If people keep asking where you got your clothes, or just generally about your suits and are persistent about wanting to know more however, here is where you must be careful. I have always gone down the road of "I'm tall so I have to get my clothes tailored, as off the peg doesn't really fit me properly" and make a light joke of it.

If you start talking about cloth weights, bespoke etc, it can, not always, trigger an almost instant and subconscious dislike / jealousy in insecure people.... Why? Well, you are sort of saying that what they are wearing (by logical extension) is not good enough for you. You will then have some immediately label you as "the guy loves himself and thinks he is better than me".

This is a really strange 'hobby' we have here, almost something to be ashamed of judging by the way some people would and will react to you. It's something we have to be quite guarded about (sounds crazy as I write this, as if you are some sort of online predator) because there can be some who will immediately take instinctive offence at people who spend so much money/time on clothes as a hobby.

If you say "I'm a rare bird watcher" many will just say "Ok that's not my thing, but whatever, as long as you are not hurting anyone else have fun at the weekend".

If you say "I like to commission bespoke clothing from travelling Italian / British tailors, and only wear shoes made from a horses' backside, and only wear 7 fold ties and only Mongolian cashmere as the Chinese is inferior" you are going to get certain people's backs up, because you are effectively questioning what they wear and how good they look.

I have also often found those who claim to care the least about clothes and how they look will be the first to make a passive aggressive comment about what you're wearing.... Which doesn't really make sense surely if you care so little about appearances, you shouldn't even notice what I'm wearing?

My overall message though is if your dress code allows for suits, go for it with a nice tailored suit, just don't be a peacock.
If you are ever 'cornered' about your clothes at a lunch or other work group environment, (yes it will happen probably) just take it lightly and try and laugh it off as much as possible.

Never, ever, ever, ever reveal the cost of something, even if asked directly, do not give the true price.

Also try to avoid giving the brand name as some will just immediately google it to find out how much it costs. Yes, it's happened to me.
Tell them you bought it in a sale at an outlet, or even better, if relevant, your significant other bought it for you and you don't know.

This one I found tough as I am not a liar by nature, and do not like lying to people... Trust me though if you reveal you are spending $500 dollars on shoes or $3-5k on bespoke suits (even $1000 sounds like a lot of money in this H&M era) you will quickly find how little tolerance people will have for you how spend your money, ranging from "you're crazy"... to "What's wrong with the H&M suits that we all wear?".... to "You're irresponsible"... to "how much more are you earning than me?"

 

[MisterFu]

I'm a recent graduate and the place I work at requires conservative business dress.

Now my problem is that most men don't care about the nuances of finding a suit that fits and using tailoring. In fact I'm the only guy in the office with sleeves of the right length, shoulders that fit etc. This might be a good thing if I was a long-term employee or in management but as a newcomer to the workforce I feel like I stand out for what I'm wearing, and to me that's not a good thing. It doesn't help that I've got broad shoulders and I'm tall. The style I like is slim fit also, so the contrast between me and my co-workers dress style is stark.

I'm seriously considering sabotaging my style and buying bags for suits just so I fit in. Has anyone else done this?

Honestly I would have preferred if I was ignorant of what this forum has taught me. I would have been happy being one of the oblivious masses.

Thanks for nothing styleforum!

I'll give you the perspective of an employer: the employee who shoes up well dressed, with well sorted clothes that that fit is absolutely at an advantage, all else being equal, versus the employee who is a slob.

Now, don't get me wrong, in a properly managed organization, performance substantially outweighs all else. However, if the well dressed individual comes and asks me for additional time to complete some work, I'm more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are simply putting in extra effort, whereas the slob is simply going to come across as disorganized.

Dress in a workplace appropriate fashion (in your case a suit) and do it to the best of your ability without being flamboyant or distracting. As an aside, don't worry about how your coworkers dress, talk or do their jobs; focus on doing your job as best you can.

 

[archibaldleach]



You are over-thinking it. For the most part.

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

I have been in this position in the past myself.

If you are tall and in decent shape, you are always going to "stand out" so might as well look your best, and fortunately your dress code allows you to wear nice, smart clothes.

As long as you are not a 'dandy' or peacock about your style (excessive voluminous silk pocket squares, lapel pins, aggressive shoes for example) there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a well tailored suit, if others are also wearing a suit.

If anything, you may find you 'inspire' others to dress better, I have also known this.

If someone asks you about your clothes in the work environment (as I am sure many others have experienced here) you have to be quite non-committal and non-plussed...

If people keep asking where you got your clothes, or just generally about your suits and are persistent about wanting to know more however, here is where you must be careful. I have always gone down the road of "I'm tall so I have to get my clothes tailored, as off the peg doesn't really fit me properly" and make a light joke of it.

If you start talking about cloth weights, bespoke etc, it can, not always, trigger an almost instant and subconscious dislike / jealousy in insecure people.... Why? Well, you are sort of saying that what they are wearing (by logical extension) is not good enough for you. You will then have some immediately label you as "the guy loves himself and thinks he is better than me".

This is a really strange 'hobby' we have here, almost something to be ashamed of judging by the way some people would and will react to you. It's something we have to be quite guarded about (sounds crazy as I write this, as if you are some sort of online predator) because there can be some who will immediately take instinctive offence at people who spend so much money/time on clothes as a hobby.

If you say "I'm a rare bird watcher" many will just say "Ok that's not my thing, but whatever, as long as you are not hurting anyone else have fun at the weekend".

If you say "I like to commission bespoke clothing from travelling Italian / British tailors, and only wear shoes made from a horses' backside, and only wear 7 fold ties and only Mongolian cashmere as the Chinese is inferior" you are going to get certain people's backs up, because you are effectively questioning what they wear and how good they look.

I have also often found those who claim to care the least about clothes and how they look will be the first to make a passive aggressive comment about what you're wearing.... Which doesn't really make sense surely if you care so little about appearances, you shouldn't even notice what I'm wearing?

My overall message though is if your dress code allows for suits, go for it with a nice tailored suit, just don't be a peacock.
If you are ever 'cornered' about your clothes at a lunch or other work group environment, (yes it will happen probably) just take it lightly and try and laugh it off as much as possible.

Never, ever, ever, ever reveal the cost of something, even if asked directly, do not give the true price.

Also try to avoid giving the brand name as some will just immediately google it to find out how much it costs. Yes, it's happened to me.
Tell them you bought it in a sale at an outlet, or even better, if relevant, your significant other bought it for you and you don't know.

This one I found tough as I am not a liar by nature, and do not like lying to people... Trust me though if you reveal you are spending $500 dollars on shoes or $3-5k on bespoke suits (even $1000 sounds like a lot of money in this H&M era) you will quickly find how little tolerance people will have for you how spend your money, ranging from "you're crazy"... to "What's wrong with the H&M suits that we all wear?".... to "You're irresponsible"... to "how much more are you earning than me?"

Long post in response to someone who is overthinking. Naturally you should not be going around talking about what things cost even if asked. I think it really is as simple as avoiding sounding like a pretentious douche when you talk about clothing and generally not talking too much about it unless others ask you for your thoughts on things. If you don't insult others or make them feel inferior and just focus on being a solid colleague, they're a lot less likely to care. I do agree that peacocking is a bad move when the fit of your clothes is enough to get noticed and that you should be able to take it lightly if you are cornered about your clothes.

 

[jcoltkelly]

Just own it and be proud. Since you are just starting out you'll have a workplace identity attached to you, might as well be "The well dressed buff guy." rather than "That guy who has hotsauce in his desk drawer."