Do Women Really Love Stylish men?

[globetrotter]

now I am convinced that Alexis is a woman. great post.

 

[nightowl6261a]

johnapril, unfortunately I do not think it a contradiction, I think you are inevitably right in the assumption of most men's thoughts in dating...it seems most men, especially young, are out to have a "good time" more so than to find a serious relationship, not I suppose a bad thing, but as we get older, I believe a less mature way to approach life. I should hope that every man was as lucky as I. I have known my wife since the age of 12, and although we did not date until we were 20 and 19, we always looked upon each other as a soul mate in certain ways, and after a time, we developed into a fun loving couple that appreciated each other for all of our deficiencies as well as the good traits. Oh to be young again, maybe I might have a different perspective.

 

[Bradford]

now I am convinced that Alexis is a woman. great post.

I agree -

And as someone who dated more than my share of women before settling down, I would encourage my fellow gentlemen on this forum to read Alexis' post and take it to heart.

Alexis - great job - you are truly an asset to this group.

Bradford

 

[jekv12]

This is what I was trying to say earlier, differentiating "like/love" as these imply a more mature relationship, from getting laid, the bars, picking chicks up, etc.

In summary - it's about her, not you.

 

[LA Guy]

In summary - it's about her, not you.

Really? I sort of thought that a relationship was about two people.

 

[nightowl6261a]

You may think that, but........

 

[johnw86]

we are slaves to the idea that short dumpy men should be dating gorgeous tall blonds because we have some special "X" (insert your collection here).

You're saying it's wrong to think this? Damn...

On the other hand, it does explain an awful lot in my life.

 

[globetrotter]

well, if it works for you tell me what your secret is...

 

[LA Guy]

And as someone who dated more than my share of women before settling down, I would encourage my fellow gentlemen on this forum to read Alexis' post and take it to heart.

As someone with a similar experience, I second this. Even in a "casual" relationship, the girls you will have the best time with are the ones you can actually talk to and have a good time with and are comfortable with and are comfortable with you. Cliched, but pretty true.

 

[novalis]

A few months ago I picked up a slim book (now out of print) called "Women Pros and Cons" that compiled a collection of quotes on said topic. I found the following quotes telling, amusing or both:

"He gets on best with women who best knows how to get on without them. A sweetheart is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine-bottle." - Baudelaire

"To a woman there is something indescribably inviting in a man whom other women favor." - Balzac

"A modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation." - Goldsmith

"Women, when they are not in love, have all the cold blood of an experienced attorney." - Balzac

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men." - Conrad

 

[gorgekko]

This is what I was trying to say earlier, differentiating "like/love" as these imply a more mature relationship, from getting laid, the bars, picking chicks up, etc.

In summary - it's about her, not you.

Sorry, but I'll stick with my one evening "relationships" if a mature relationship is defined as being all about her, not the both of you.

 

[PHV]

Gentleman of the jury,

After having have read this discussion with great interest, I thought to add a few lines.

First off, know that I'm only speaking for myself, a woman of 24, single, college educated, who has taken enough hits that she no longer thinks she knows it all when it comes to men and relationships.

What I believe foremost is that all human interactions have the potential for limitless complexity.  People are sensitive and social creatures, and it is natural that they long to be together.

When I first meet a man, I am not primarily concerned with how he looks.  I focus more on how I feel in his presence.  If I feel like myself, if I can "be myself," then I naturally feel more open, and I will try to get to know him, and he will try to get to know me.  This phase of relationships is, for me, a slow and enjoyable process, albeit involves a great amount of risk in that I make myself vulnerable.

During the getting to know you phase, in the beginning, if I am comfortable, I will begin to take note of how a man looks.  In this forum, we are concerned with clothes, I understand.  Nevertheless, a man who has made me comfortable in his presence is one who--

makes eye contact
is comfortable in his own skin
has nothing to prove
is interested in getting to know me
actively listens
has a sense of humor
does not take himself too seriously

I grow more interested in a man if he--

is passionate about something, regardless of whether this passion has matured
is not trying to get me in to bed right from the starting line

Clothes become interesting to me if the man is interested in clothes.  I am sure there are a hundred variations for each variation of a woman, so again, let me emphasize, I speak only for myself.

What I fear for the dating men on this forum is that they aren't having the experiences they should be having with women because of this barrier called clothes.  That probably sounds a little weird.  What I mean to say is, clothes, looks, style, these things are secondary or tertiary to eye contact, being at ease, making others at ease in their presence.

My advice (oh, this is dangerous): dress in what makes you comfortable and get to know as many women as you can with no secondary agenda.  Is this a Zen trick?  Perhaps.  But just get yourself out there, get to know us, learn about us quirky, fascinating creatures, for that is what you are to us.  Once you've taken that step, I think a lot of the other stuff works itself out.

Perhaps this post is but a rehash of what others have said.  Sorry to drag you through it again.

Kisses.

I really have to agree with Alexis... I'm not a woman, but something I've picked up is that many women like confidence.

Clothes can have something to do with your confidence, so wear what you will feel confident in. It's not that Axl rose, Mik Jagger, or Steven Tyler are stylish that women love them. One of the biggest things that attracts them to those kinds of guys is their enormous confidence, and I'd say that every guy would call them sartorial disasters.

So really, in the matter of women, wear what makes you feel confident.

 

[Eric]

PHV,

I think wearing what you want is more of a byproduct of confidence, more than wearing something making you confident.

And may I say that this topic has been beaten to death. Overthinking relationships is suicide, keep it simple and you be happy.

Eric

 

[Ed13]

I believe that there are a few these that trigger women's attraction and being well dressed plays a part.

Confidence - Most people in general like confident people. A "good personality" can only be displayed in a confident person. Being well dressed can help show confidence and give the wearer extra confidence.

Masculinity - Women can say what they want about sensitive men but I believe most (if not all women) have at least a hidden desire for a man that can physically dominate both men and women. Clothes can help accentuate the physical characteristics that may subconciously lead to this belief.

Money - A women once told me that all men look much taller when standing on a stack of money. Like it or not, a large bank account can help to eliminate many other flaws a man may have. Money may not be the only thing, but it can't hurt. Women are looking for a "good provider" and a healthy net worth can accomplish this. Quality clothes are often noticed. It's not easy to afford cashmere working at McDonalds.

Jealousy / Competition - Attract one woman and more will follow.

A man either has masculinity (or physical prowess) and confidence or he doesn't. If not, a bank account will be required. For men early in their career, they will need to at least show the future capability of wealth. If this wealth is not achieved by middle age, it is time to make a deal with the devil to obtain the first two traits. If not, you will most likely have many lonely evenings.

 

[jekv12]

Quote (jekv12 @ 15 Dec. 2004, 12:17)
This is what I was trying to say earlier, differentiating "like/love" as these imply a more mature relationship, from getting laid, the bars, picking chicks up, etc.

In summary - it's about her, not you.

Sorry, but I'll stick with my one evening "relationships" if a mature relationship is defined as being all about her, not the both of you.

Apologies, I wasn't being clear, I had two thoughts going there.
The second - "all about her" - was meant to be showing interest in her, paying attention, listening, and so on. As in when you are
first meeting someone, put them at ease.