Turning 40 and need makeover... badly

[BrightRice]

Hey guys,

Up until now, haven't thought too much about my look. In my teens and twenties stuck to nearly all black. This worked in NYC and SFCA and let me focus on nice materials when I didn't have a lot of cash.

Thirties focused on suits, watches, shoes etc - still kept the palette dark and understated.

Now I'm hitting 40, and live in SE Asia, the suits are out (as I work from home and the heat) - but in desperate need of new look.

My average dress the last 5 years is probs super casual:

- Black vee neck tshirt (or deep vee)
- Cargo pants (black, camo, gray)
- Converse or Birkenstocks
- Rolex

In fact I have over 200 black V in my closet (sigh) and 40+ cargos. Super comfortable, forgiving, no thinking required.

My buddies tell me the look is not great. I've got long blonde hair - and tho I've lost a lot of weight (240lbs - 198lbs) I still have 18lb to go. I wear a 42r and 36 waist (tho these are quite loose on purpose - I guess a 34... I have IBS so my belly varies throughout the day.. )

I've been adding some bright print converse to my look, even some ripped jeans - to give a more modern vibe. Don't know if it works. I dearly love cargos (regular fit - not the skinny thing). However, when I was at a pool party in Ibiza last year - I looked around and realized I was the ONLY dude in cargos - dad pants. (sigh).

Honestly, I'm not very fashion inclined - in my part of asia it's good to keep a lowish profile. If you saw me you'd probably think I don't have two pennies to rub together. That's good for me. But now I have a new girlfriend I'm trying to marry - so want to up my game. I willing to listen and learn.

I sort of like Tom Cruise's style - laid back but sharp. I find jeans restrictive after years in cargos, but I could adapt. I love cords - but I guess they're never in. Blazers are awfully hot to wear here when temperature is 90+ and humidity through the roof.

I don't have a signature style. When I travel in winter I always wear my black leather peacoat (Lost Worlds) and some Allen Edmonds... Seems much easier to get winter wardrobe together than summer.

Guess I'm looking for one or two shops I can go to online and just shop from their collections to put together a summer wardrobe for the 10 months a year I live in the heat.

Any suggestions will be humbly welcome.

Thanks.

 

[ThomGault]

A few thoughts:
1. Don't change your wardrobe for a girl. If it's not your style, you are likely to resent it or not fully believe in it, and it will fail.
2. Don't imulate Hollywood actors; they usually know nothing about style.
3. Take time to pick out some styles YOU like. Read the 'What Are You Wearing Right Now' thread to get some ideas.
4. And, yeah...get rid of the cargo pants and black t-shirts

 

[LA Guy]

You can do black tees and cargoes fashionable - both are actually quite in right now - it's a matter of the cut and the fabric. Also, your girlfriend probably isn't with you because of your wardrobe.

That said, maybe you could change things subtly. I think that linen popover shirts are good for tropical climates, and a nice alternative to both tees and polos:

http://www.nomanwalksalone.com/inde...hort-sleeves-popover-shirt-spread-collar.html

and for pants, if you want to get away from cargos, maybe you can go for loose linen pants in the colors that you are already comfortable in.

Don't forget your footwear. Something like desert boots on crepe soles, which were originally made for hot climates, might work.

 

[lordsuperb]

Hey guys,

Up until now, haven't thought too much about my look. In my teens and twenties stuck to nearly all black. This worked in NYC and SFCA and let me focus on nice materials when I didn't have a lot of cash.

Thirties focused on suits, watches, shoes etc - still kept the palette dark and understated.

Now I'm hitting 40, and live in SE Asia, the suits are out (as I work from home and the heat) - but in desperate need of new look.

My average dress the last 5 years is probs super casual:

- Black vee neck tshirt (or deep vee)
- Cargo pants (black, camo, gray)
- Converse or Birkenstocks
- Rolex

In fact I have over 200 black V in my closet (sigh) and 40+ cargos. Super comfortable, forgiving, no thinking required.

My buddies tell me the look is not great. I've got long blonde hair - and tho I've lost a lot of weight (240lbs - 198lbs) I still have 18lb to go. I wear a 42r and 36 waist (tho these are quite loose on purpose - I guess a 34... I have IBS so my belly varies throughout the day.. )

I've been adding some bright print converse to my look, even some ripped jeans - to give a more modern vibe. Don't know if it works. I dearly love cargos (regular fit - not the skinny thing). However, when I was at a pool party in Ibiza last year - I looked around and realized I was the ONLY dude in cargos - dad pants. (sigh).

Honestly, I'm not very fashion inclined - in my part of asia it's good to keep a lowish profile. If you saw me you'd probably think I don't have two pennies to rub together. That's good for me. But now I have a new girlfriend I'm trying to marry - so want to up my game. I willing to listen and learn.

I sort of like Tom Cruise's style - laid back but sharp. I find jeans restrictive after years in cargos, but I could adapt. I love cords - but I guess they're never in. Blazers are awfully hot to wear here when temperature is 90+ and humidity through the roof.

I don't have a signature style. When I travel in winter I always wear my black leather peacoat (Lost Worlds) and some Allen Edmonds... Seems much easier to get winter wardrobe together than summer.

Guess I'm looking for one or two shops I can go to online and just shop from their collections to put together a summer wardrobe for the 10 months a year I live in the heat.

Any suggestions will be humbly welcome.

Thanks.

Front squats and power cleans will give you the edge you're looking for....

 

[Jacobs]

Front squats and power cleans will give you the edge you're looking for....

Deadlifts and milk or GTFO.

 

[DanTheStyle]

check on Ebay. My Wife is buying stuff over there and I have to say most of them looks amazing.Good luck

 

[ThomGault]

check on Ebay. My Wife is buying stuff over there and I have to say most of them looks amazing.Good luck

I think the OP probably needs a better understanding of his size and taste before he starts internet shopping. Shipping and return costs don't mix well with buyer remorse. Once he gets his style figured out, though, you're right; eBay can be a great source.

 

[lestyr3]

A couple thoughts (besides seconding everything ThomGault says). Look, take these please as suggestions, not commandments:

1. If you're blond, stop wearing so much black. And if you're over 40, stop regularly wearing cargo pants, ripped jeans, or sandals. Those things do not flatter who you are (now). Like Tyrion Lannister advises us, never forget who you are, because the world will not.
2. Some general guidance on what you should try instead - I'm somewhat similar, mid-30s with blond hair. Dressing for summer or hot areas is a challenge because you can't layer very much. What I tend to do instead is wear lighter colors, cooler fabrics, looser fits, and more casual. (But still put-together)
3. Any specific suggestions? Start by trying some very lightweight and light-colored pants. Maybe in a linen blend. Play with the fit on them, if anything a looser fit may not only work better with the climate of SE Asia but also be more forgiving to weight. With those loose pants, try a more fitted button-down shirt. It sounds like you're in the "gotta kiss a lot of frogs" stage of your style. Which is okay, we've all been there (me too).

See how those work for you, and go from there.