Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread

[Faux Brummell]

Perhaps ask the bride and groom their preference?

 

[nmprisons]

How much of a stickler should I be?

I've been in this situation. You shouldn't be one at all.

The focus should be on the bride and groom. If you look different than everyone else, the focus shifts to you. And (trust me) nobody there will be thinking "bravo for the groomsman standing up for tradition." They will all be thinking "why does that guy look different." And, if they bother to ask you, what will you say? The groom and his closest friends don't know the rules, but I refuse to debase myself? (Whatever the answer, that's how it'll be heard.)

 

[Count de Monet]

I've been in this situation. You shouldn't be one at all.

The focus should be on the bride and groom. If you look different than everyone else, the focus shifts to you. And (trust me) nobody there will be thinking "bravo for the groomsman standing up for tradition." They will all be thinking "why does that guy look different." And, if they bother to ask you, what will you say? The groom and his closest friends don't know the rules, but I refuse to debase myself? (Whatever the answer, that's how it'll be heard.)

Excellent answer. It’s their day.

I would only add @danc13 should feel free to wear his suspenders of choice. No will know with the jacket on and if it is one of those receptions where the jackets start coming off as the music and dancing gets cranked up, no will care if his red or shocking pink suspenders aren’t in line with those of his fellow groomsmen.

 

[danc13]

I've been in this situation. You shouldn't be one at all.

The focus should be on the bride and groom. If you look different than everyone else, the focus shifts to you. And (trust me) nobody there will be thinking "bravo for the groomsman standing up for tradition." They will all be thinking "why does that guy look different." And, if they bother to ask you, what will you say? The groom and his closest friends don't know the rules, but I refuse to debase myself? (Whatever the answer, that's how it'll be heard.)

Haha, thanks for the honest POV. Great point.

 

[Veremund]

Hi all, long time lurker, first post. I'm going to be a groomsman in a wedding in a couple of months and we are wearing matching tuxedos. My dilemma is that none of the other wedding party members (groom included) care to follow traditional tuxedo rules. They have all ordered MTM Jos A Bank tuxedos without pant stripe or waist covering. They are wearing bowties, but with standard dress shirts (spread collar, mitered cuffs.) How much of a stickler should I be? I'm already wearing my own existing BB tux because it's better quality and matches closely enough (same lapel style). Should I dumb down my shirt choice and lose the cummerbund/suspenders to match the party?

No, all groomsmen in tuxes is Matching enough. Just wear your tux with cummerbund and suspenders. No one will notice anything except that you somehow are better looking than the other guys.

 

[classicalthunde]

Hi all, long time lurker, first post. I'm going to be a groomsman in a wedding in a couple of months and we are wearing matching tuxedos. My dilemma is that none of the other wedding party members (groom included) care to follow traditional tuxedo rules. They have all ordered MTM Jos A Bank tuxedos without pant stripe or waist covering. They are wearing bowties, but with standard dress shirts (spread collar, mitered cuffs.) How much of a stickler should I be? I'm already wearing my own existing BB tux because it's better quality and matches closely enough (same lapel style). Should I dumb down my shirt choice and lose the cummerbund/suspenders to match the party?

did they all get the same exact model of tux or do they differ slightly (some shawl, some peak, etc)? it they vary slightly i would say then you're good to go. I doubt anyone would notice your additional pant stripe or cummerbund (i would imagine you're tux would be buttoned during the ceremony, the most critical time to 'look the part').

ultimately, i would just ask the bride and groom "hey can i wear my own tux, heres a pic of it"...if they say yes, go for it. its better than spending $$$ on an additional tux you're unlikely to ever wear again. plus 99% of people will not notice/pay attention to (relatively) minor differences in tuxedos on the groomsmen, such as stripe or cummerbund...the wedding couple will be the focus for everyone. I would suggest at least getting a turndown tux shirt or regular dress shirt with standard buttons (non-studs)

FWIW, I let all my goomsmen pick their own mid-grey suit after giving them an image of what i wanted the color to be and several RTW options at various price points, and there was pretty much no way to tell from more than 5 feet away that they were wearing different suit. I think the exactness factor of matching groomsmen outfits in reality is a wider window/less paid attention too by the crowd than most people realize

 

[culverwood]

I would keep with the same shirt style as the rest as classicalthunde suggests.

 

[benjamin831]

Getting married in October. For my groomsmen, some own tuxes some don't. Some are black, others are midnight. My tux is black.

What are some thoughts on mixing details like black/midnight, shawl/peak, silver/gold hardware.

 

[Faux Brummell]

Hell yes. (And congrats.)

Getting married in October. For my groomsmen, some own tuxes some don't. Some are black, others are midnight. My tux is black.

What are some thoughts on mixing details like black/midnight, shawl/peak, silver/gold hardware.

 

[danc13]

Hi all,
I'm getting married in September and looking for advice on a suit I'd like to have made. We're doing a separate ceremony (private, destination) so the suit is for the party back home which will be outdoors and fairly casual (like a fancy picnic.) I don't have much use for a suit in a professional setting, but would like to be able to get use of it after the wedding, so I'm thinking something more relaxed ie. Neapolitan style in a med gray or mid blue/navy. I'm looking at Spiers McKay right now and wondering if I should consider their full canvas (which only come in two fabric choices) or their half canvas suits (more options). Thoughts?

 

[ter1413]

Getting married in October. For my groomsmen, some own tuxes some don't. Some are black, others are midnight. My tux is black.

What are some thoughts on mixing details like black/midnight, shawl/peak, silver/gold hardware.

 

[rainmaker]

I'm a big Spier fan. If you think there's some times that you'd want to wear a blazer, give considerable thought to doing a suit with patch pockets, which makes it more blazer-y. Spier themselves do some suits this way. The point of making them this way is that the jacket will work better as a blazer (i.e. worn separate from the matching pants) than a jacket without said patch pockets. It is a less formal style, but the party back home is "fairly casual" as you've said, so it is probably good to go.

Hi all,
I'm getting married in September and looking for advice on a suit I'd like to have made. We're doing a separate ceremony (private, destination) so the suit is for the party back home which will be outdoors and fairly casual (like a fancy picnic.) I don't have much use for a suit in a professional setting, but would like to be able to get use of it after the wedding, so I'm thinking something more relaxed ie. Neapolitan style in a med gray or mid blue/navy. I'm looking at Spiers McKay right now and wondering if I should consider their full canvas (which only come in two fabric choices) or their half canvas suits (more options). Thoughts?

 

[danc13]

I'm a big Spier fan. If you think there's some times that you'd want to wear a blazer, give considerable thought to doing a suit with patch pockets, which makes it more blazer-y. Spier themselves do some suits this way. The point of making them this way is that the jacket will work better as a blazer (i.e. worn separate from the matching pants) than a jacket without said patch pockets. It is a less formal style, but the party back home is "fairly casual" as you've said, so it is probably good to go.

Thanks for the input. I actually would prefer one of the patch pocket models, and that's a good point about wearing it as a blazer. Do you think it matters much whether I do full vs half canvas if I don't plan on using the suit in formal business settings? The canvassing is the only reason I'm considering a suit without patch pockets--their full canvas suit doesn't have them.

 

[rainmaker]

Spier probably does full-canvas for more than just the two cloths MTO/MTM, if you're willing to go that route? I'd be really surprised if they didn't.

That being said, if the choice is full canvas vs half-canvas with patch pockets and endless cloths to choose from, I'd do half-canvas in your situation for sure.

Thanks for the input. I actually would prefer one of the patch pocket models, and that's a good point about wearing it as a blazer. Do you think it matters much whether I do full vs half canvas if I don't plan on using the suit in formal business settings? The canvassing is the only reason I'm considering a suit without patch pockets--their full canvas suit doesn't have them.

 

[Legion6]

Hey all. Long time lurker and have definitely learnt a lot from all the collective advice on the site. I've got my wedding coming up in June and wanted to get your thoughts on the ties for my groomsmen. I am going with a 3 piece suit that is slightly lighter than navy from suitsupply and getting it altered to fit (off the rack fits me reasonably well). With that I am going with white shirt, black oxfords and a glenn plaid tie. Changing into tux trousers and dinner jacket for the evening (colour to be decided). My fiance will be wearing a white dress and an asian outfit in the evening but colour not yet decided. Her bridesmaids will be in orange/peach.

I'm asking my groomsmen to wear 2 piece navy suits that they already own but was hoping to get them a tie each. I've got 7 groomsmen in total so not sure whether to have several of the same tie or 7 different ties. Also I'm a bit stuck in terms of what colours and patterns would work well together. Would appreciate any input, thanks