lpalma121
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2009
- Messages
- 353
- Reaction score
- 8
I met my gf just a little over a year ago on match .com. It was my first time trying online dating and let me tell all you single guys out there, if you're looking to have "fun" check it out ( wink , wink) Anyway, she's hot , she's smart, she's loads of fun , but .....she has a 5 year old daughter. This is really where things get tricky.
She told me about her up front but I thought she would be just another girl/woman and would last maybe a month or so until I got bored or whatever. However , things went great all last summer, I finally met her daughter after 3 months. At first I felt awkward since I never dated a woman with a child. I would come around once in a while but they were short visits, most of the time we wound spend weekends at my place out in Long Island. Last month she moved to Queens from the city , partly to be closer to me but mainly because her 1 bedroom was getting smaller & smaller with a growing child. I've been spending a little more time with them just to see what would come out of this and what to expect if we were to ever take this to the next level. Thing is I'm a little uncertain and I don't know if it's me or maybe I have a point.
Lately I've been sleeping there since she just moved closer to me because it's a little more convenient than driving to the city. She wants to sort of take this to the next level but problems started as soon as she moved. Her 5 year old has her own room but refuses to sleep alone , she cries at all hours of the night waking everyone up. I don't mean to sound like a douche but it's ******* annoying. Maybe because I'm an only child myself and never really had to deal with babies crying ( reality is she's going on 6 ), maybe it's because her mother co- slept with her her whole life ( which I think is the real problem ) She just walks into the room un announced while I'm trying to get things steamy. She ruins the moment at times but it's not the end of the world. This kid is actually a spoiled little brat in my eyes. Sorry but she is, I've seen little Asian and Indian kids her age and they're so quite and well behaved, they never scream , have outburst in middle of the street because they don't get ice cream or a toy, run around the house shouting things they seen on TV, talk more then a AM talk show host .... the list goes on. Thing is she doesn't tell her much , gives her this "time out" junk which to me seems like a joke. Growing up my mother just had to give me that "look" and I knew what that meant. MY GF said " well I don't ever want to hit my daughter" . Worked for me..... just sayin'.
A part of me feels uncomfortable when us 3 walk around , I feel as if though people can tell she's not my daughter. It makes me feel a little insecure, almost as though I can feel what people are thinking, which they probably are. A kind of "what is he doing , it's not his daughter". Or maybe that's what I'm projecting and thinking.
A part of me thinks that her real father should really be here in the picture. Funny thing is he supposedly only comes around once every 4 months. I googled who is was only to find out that he's only 28 now, 4 years younger than my Gf which means he was 21 when she dropped the bomb on him. He told her to get an abortion , but she refused, saying that she was 25 and it was time. She basically went against his wishes and did what she wanted. I think it's a little selfish of her, what do you think? I mean he told her up front that there were going to be problems. She should have known, anyway... not even 3 years later and he took off. They never got married or anything.
A part of me get angry because I think her past is still with her. A part of her past relationship still looks her in her face everyday. I feel she's reminded of him through her daughter which get me really upset for some reason . Maybe I get jealous? Nope.... that's not it, it's anger. I sometimes wish she didn't have this kid, I feel she totally fucked things up for us both.
She told me about her up front but I thought she would be just another girl/woman and would last maybe a month or so until I got bored or whatever. However , things went great all last summer, I finally met her daughter after 3 months. At first I felt awkward since I never dated a woman with a child. I would come around once in a while but they were short visits, most of the time we wound spend weekends at my place out in Long Island. Last month she moved to Queens from the city , partly to be closer to me but mainly because her 1 bedroom was getting smaller & smaller with a growing child. I've been spending a little more time with them just to see what would come out of this and what to expect if we were to ever take this to the next level. Thing is I'm a little uncertain and I don't know if it's me or maybe I have a point.
Lately I've been sleeping there since she just moved closer to me because it's a little more convenient than driving to the city. She wants to sort of take this to the next level but problems started as soon as she moved. Her 5 year old has her own room but refuses to sleep alone , she cries at all hours of the night waking everyone up. I don't mean to sound like a douche but it's ******* annoying. Maybe because I'm an only child myself and never really had to deal with babies crying ( reality is she's going on 6 ), maybe it's because her mother co- slept with her her whole life ( which I think is the real problem ) She just walks into the room un announced while I'm trying to get things steamy. She ruins the moment at times but it's not the end of the world. This kid is actually a spoiled little brat in my eyes. Sorry but she is, I've seen little Asian and Indian kids her age and they're so quite and well behaved, they never scream , have outburst in middle of the street because they don't get ice cream or a toy, run around the house shouting things they seen on TV, talk more then a AM talk show host .... the list goes on. Thing is she doesn't tell her much , gives her this "time out" junk which to me seems like a joke. Growing up my mother just had to give me that "look" and I knew what that meant. MY GF said " well I don't ever want to hit my daughter" . Worked for me..... just sayin'.
A part of me feels uncomfortable when us 3 walk around , I feel as if though people can tell she's not my daughter. It makes me feel a little insecure, almost as though I can feel what people are thinking, which they probably are. A kind of "what is he doing , it's not his daughter". Or maybe that's what I'm projecting and thinking.
A part of me thinks that her real father should really be here in the picture. Funny thing is he supposedly only comes around once every 4 months. I googled who is was only to find out that he's only 28 now, 4 years younger than my Gf which means he was 21 when she dropped the bomb on him. He told her to get an abortion , but she refused, saying that she was 25 and it was time. She basically went against his wishes and did what she wanted. I think it's a little selfish of her, what do you think? I mean he told her up front that there were going to be problems. She should have known, anyway... not even 3 years later and he took off. They never got married or anything.
A part of me get angry because I think her past is still with her. A part of her past relationship still looks her in her face everyday. I feel she's reminded of him through her daughter which get me really upset for some reason . Maybe I get jealous? Nope.... that's not it, it's anger. I sometimes wish she didn't have this kid, I feel she totally fucked things up for us both.
