Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost?

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by Matt

-> Mad Hatter.
Damn. So that's one less nomination for the douche contest. He can't be nominated 5 times...

 

[Desi]

Originally Posted by Jenaimarr

It seems the most oft repeated advice is that the money can be better spent on a downpayment on a house or buying a car. What if the couple is in the position where they both own their own respective dwellings and both own cars?

Does spending an exorbitant amount on a wedding become ok or would one suggest to buy more houses and/or more cars?
Honestly they can do whatever they wish with the money. Start a college fund for a future child or invest it? If I was made to spend the 10k some way that is what I would come to.

 

[NORE]

Originally Posted by Rambo

Psssh. You overpaid.

 

[Fraiche]

Originally Posted by Jenaimarr

It seems the most oft repeated advice is that the money can be better spent on a downpayment on a house or buying a car.

I didn't catch everything but reallocating the cash for another liability is worse imo.

 

[Metlin]

My wife and I got married this past August. But we kept the wedding party small (~25 people) and had it on a boat in Cape Cod.

This basically made it significantly cheaper, since the ceremony and the party were all at the same place.

All in all, it was well worth it. And we insisted on paying for it ourselves, so we made sure it didn't get too much out of hand.

 

[NORE]

Originally Posted by Metlin

My wife and I got married this past August. But we kept the wedding party small (~25 people) and had it on a boat in Cape Cod.

This basically made it significantly cheaper, since the ceremony and the party were all at the same place.

All in all, it was well worth it. And we insisted on paying for it ourselves, so we made sure it didn't get too much out of hand.

Congrats, man.

 

[Metlin]

Originally Posted by NORE

Congrats, man.

Thanks, dude.

 

[SwingDaddy]

My wedding cost just the right amount.

If you spend so much that you begin worrying or fighting, then that is too much. If you spend so little that you begin worrying or fighting, that might be too little. You should be aiming for that "sweet spot" in between those two limits. You should be able to reach that position, and it should not require substantial compromise. If it does, somebody is forgetting the point of a wedding and reception. Additionally, make sure that you balance the sacrifices you make now with the memories and good times you create. You really can only create so many memories and good times by sacrificing more and more money. At some point, you get diminishing returns and would best be served spending your money elsewhere. If find yourself needing other people to give you a number to find your sweet spot, you missed my point. Even if you are only seeking a number to show your s.o., you've missed the point. The two of you must reach compromise based on common sense and common values, not based on what an arbitrary group of outsiders says they spent.

I will also add this anecdote about wedding budgets. I have never heard a couple say they regretted not spending more! That is not to say none of them wished to have done things differently, including budgeting more. However, nobody I know has ever expressed regret over limiting their budget. On the other hand, I do know people who genuinely regret spending too much. They range from lower class to upper middle class and they realize now they had better uses for some of the money they spent. That's especially because the wedding couple is so busy they can't enjoy much of what they paid for. Any expenditure should serve to fit within those rules I listed at top. You should not spend to ward off some judgmental critics, including the ones we have in our own heads. Spending or saving money is not the goal of a wedding ceremony or reception. The goal of the ceremony is marriage and happiness.

I'm not sure anyone is helping you by giving you a number for what they spent, but you asked and if you've made it this far into my tome, I'll tell you. I had two weddings - one in Peru (Lima) and the other in the U.S. (central New Jersey). Both were budgeted roughly $5,000 for about 70 guests and an open bar. That's right. Not $50,000, but $5,000. Both were successful affairs. My wife and I were married (or renewed our vows, for the NJ wedding), the guests were fed, and everyone had fun. We had a DJ play plenty of danceable music - mostly pop and ballroom styles - and we danced and celebrated our butts off. That was the whole point, right? Get married and experience memorably enjoyable moments. Whether or not you're one of the supermultimillionaires on this site who can reasonably spend orders of magnitude more than I did, or someone with only enough to afford a small affair, spend only whatever it takes to hit that "sweet spot". If you need other people to give you that number, you've missed the point.

If I may offer one final tip of the many you might get, do what YOU need to have a good time. Don't worry about what other people want. You're king and queen of the day. Enjoy it.

 

[eglbc]

getting hitched next month, so far looking at around 10k for 50 people in joshua tree, and the bulk of that is just the venue, which is ******* insanley perfect.
tacos, beers, and the desert.

 

[Claghorn]

Cab fare to the courthouse (or district office in this case).

Also, Korean weddings are expensive, but they generally net a profit for the couple (guests are expected to bring cash in labelled envelopes).

 

[david3558]

I feel like traditional Chinese/Taiwanese weddings are the same way - you can pull in gold, cash, etc.

 

[suited]

My fiance is Guyanese, and in Indian culture, it's a ***** slap if you don't invite your entire goddamn "family," or so I've heard. This means she will have 250 guests on her own, I might have 50 or so. Her parents are paying for it, so I guess I can't complain. At least I get to sit on a pimp chair under a mandap for the ceremony