Married SFers: How much did your wedding cost?

[tj100]

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

I wonder how many guys here have a wife that said she wanted a small intimate wedding with 30people tops, but you said no honey, let's spend 100K+ and have the prince charming wedding I always wanted. Anyone here convince their finance, to have a big wedding when she initially wanted a very small one?

I did not, but I do have a close friend for whom this was the case. In his case it was a cultural issue.

 

[thisfits]

Two of my friends were married in the past five years.

One had a wedding that was likely $100K+: over 600 guests invited, eight course meal, multiple wedding singer acts, $100 bottles of Hennessy at each table as party favors.

The other had a wedding that probably didn't run much more than $1000: married by a friend in another friend's backyard with maybe two dozen people in attendance, handmade party favors and hors d'oeuvres from a local specialty grocer.

Both couples were in what appeared to be stable, decade-long loving relationships before the weddings.

One couple is divorced. One couple is happily married.

Care to guess which is which?

 

[MasterOfReality]

I'm getting married in September this year.

The entire wedding itself will run to around $30k. That includes wedding dress, reception, suit hire, cars, wedding rings, band, mc, string quartet for church, photographer and all the other stuff that goes with it.

Honeymoon is around $20k.

Her parents are chipping in $15k for the reception, and my parents are insisting on doing the same. We earn about $250k combined and argued against it as we don't need the help but things started to get ugly, with the parents insisting. Will look for a way to return the favour as we both feel bad about it.

This is for around 80 guests. She is chinese malaysian, I'm german/italian so the potential guest list could run into the hundreds but thats just silly. We kept it down to closest family and people we see regularly.

Even though we are financially secure, its pushing the limits to what I think is personally acceptable. I mean damn, all you are is taking 80 people out to dinner. Accidently mention the word wedding and all of a sudden the cost doubles.

 

[Desi]

i can only think about 6 people I would invite to my wedding; including friends and family. That would explain my inadequate social network and current profession.

 

[dinted voice]

Originally Posted by gdl203

That's great but it reminds me of that guy who found a pair of John Lobbs for a few bucks at a thrift store.... In what part of the world can you have a reception at a country club that costs $25 or 30 per person with food, drinks and entertainment?

The middle of nowhere....Appomattox, VA. I may have overestimated the people (may have only been 75-100). This is also the place that land runs as little as $4,000 an acre and you can build a big house for like $200,000.

Not saying that my experience is the rule, especially considering places like NYC. Reading this thread makes me happy of where I live and that my wife did not want an elaborate wedding. To each their own.

 

[tj100]

An interesting thing here is that people use "expensive" and "elaborate" interchangeably. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure what my father in law spent, but my guess is in the $40K range. And our wedding (really our reception) was nice, but I don't think anybody would describe it as elaborate. Good company, good food, good alcohol.

OTOH, this didn't factor in the ~$5K I spent on my wedding attire...

 

[NORE]

Our wedding cost 25 bucks and that included parking and gyros.

 

[Rambo]

Originally Posted by NORE

Our wedding cost 25 bucks and that included parking and gyros.
Psssh. You overpaid.

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by RSS

Are you my younger brothers?

I'm on my 6th Pegu Club already and it's not even 7PM Beijing time.

 

[Geoff Gander]

Originally Posted by Teacher

Spend far less, have a nice and simple wedding, and two things will be accomplished:

1. Your wedding day will be FAR less stressful; and

2. You'll have lots of money to invest in your future instead of blowing a wad on ONE GODDAM DAY.

+1,000,000,000

We had 54 guests and spent about $8K on our wedding + reception, marriage by civil ceremony. I do not understand why so many people seem to have this romantic notion that blowing an insane wad of cash on one frigging day is somehow going to create magic. The quality of your gifts won't increase if you have a major blowout. The amount of fun your guests have is not proportional to the amount of money you spend; they are there to celebrate your special day, regardless of the venue and the pageantry.

Spend $10K and put $20K into a downpayment on a house.

 

[Droog]

$90 in 1981, which included our wedding bands and the cost to translate my divorce decree into German. Had two witnesses, my boss and her coworker. 29 years later, in 2008, she received her engagement ring.

 

[Jenaimarr]

It seems the most oft repeated advice is that the money can be better spent on a downpayment on a house or buying a car. What if the couple is in the position where they both own their own respective dwellings and both own cars?

Does spending an exorbitant amount on a wedding become ok or would one suggest to buy more houses and/or more cars?

For discussions sake, I'll be getting married this Autumn working with about a 50k budget for 200 people (which is a middle of the road price range for a gathering of this size in socal... possibly at the lower end of the spectrum compared to other weddings I've been to in the area). The cost of the wedding will be split 3 ways between my parents, my fiancee's parents, and us (all parties are moderately but not extravagantly well off that the financial burden will be minimal to none).

Because of the whole asian cultural wedding norm of giving money instead of a gift registry (we both have enough clutter as it is already between the two of us and our two respective condos) we'll actually net positive from the wedding (again which is typical of asian weddings). Since making money off my own wedding doesn't quite sit right with me, we're using the net positive money to send each of our respective parents on a vacation/long past due 2nd (or some some case 1st) honeymoon.

 

[zalb916]

A lot of these pronouncements that a low cost wedding is inherently better are ridiculous and annoyingly judgmental. As with purchasing just about anything, it's very dependent on individual circumstances. Spend what you want and what you can afford.

You may be able to afford $100K on a wedding, but don't want to spend that much. So don't.

You may want to spend $100K on a wedding, but can't afford it. So don't.

You may want a $100K wedding and can afford. Go for it.

Everybody needs to find the right amount for them, balancing what their budget can afford and what things they value spending money on. You may scoff at someone who spent $30K on a wedding, but that's simply you imposing your value system on someone else, who simply values certain things differently.

 

[whiteslashasian]

Originally Posted by zbromer

A lot of these pronouncements that a low cost wedding is inherently better are ridiculous and annoyingly judgmental. As with purchasing just about anything, it's very dependent on individual circumstances. Spend what you want and what you can afford.

You may be able to afford $100K on a wedding, but don't want to spend that much. So don't.

You may want to spend $100K on a wedding, but can't afford it. So don't.

You may want a $100K wedding and can afford. Go for it.

Everybody needs to find the right amount for them, balancing what their budget can afford and what things they value spending money on. You may scoff at someone who spent $30K on a wedding, but that's simply you imposing your value system on someone else, who simply values certain things differently.

Well put.

I don't put much value in a big, expensive wedding but some people do. If they can afford it then good for them.

More than the money spent, I think properly planning the wedding is more important than just throwing cash at it. Tasteful design, attire, food/drink, music etc makes a wedding stand out in my mind.

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by Matt

Hey Man -> Riverdog -> Cinematic Soul -> Robert Evans -> rebanning.

-> Mad Hatter.

Said it before, say it again...is there anything sadder than the internet telling you you are not wanted?

QFT.