How to stop overdressing

[Son Of Saphir]

I wore a sport coat almost every day. People I worked with for ten years would still ask me once a week why I was so dressed up.

No big deal.
Did you tell them the truth and answer their questions?

The answer
- don't consider it dressed up
- have always dressed like this
- me like dressing like this

can even add
- would like to wear a tie too (looks nice when people wear a tie), but you guys might laugh at me so me just wear a normal shirt and coat instead.

People will appreciate your openness and honesty.
It is really no big deal if people ask you questions about it.
If you don't worry about it, they won't worry about it.

 

[DorianGreen]

No big deal.
Did you tell them the truth and answer their questions?

The answer
- don't consider it dressed up
- have always dressed like this
- me like dressing like this

can even add
- would like to wear a tie too (looks nice when people wear a tie), but you guys might laugh at me so me just wear a normal shirt and coat instead.

People will appreciate your openness and honesty.
It is really no big deal if people ask you questions about it.
If you don't worry about it, they won't worry about it.

Yes, essentially a matter of self-confidence, and, agree with you, it takes some time to develop it.

 

[mak1277]

Yes, essentially a matter of self-confidence, and, agree with you, it takes some time to develop it.

You’re misunderstanding me. I didn’t feel self conscious about it at all. My point was that if you dress differently than your peers, you’re always going to stand out. Even if you’ve always done it, people are still going to look at you differently. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just a fact

It’s not a personal deficiency if someone doesn’t want to stand out.

 

[DorianGreen]

You’re misunderstanding me. I didn’t feel self conscious about it at all. My point was that if you dress differently than your peers, you’re always going to stand out. Even if you’ve always done it, people are still going to look at you differently. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just a fact

It’s not a personal deficiency if someone doesn’t want to stand out.

My point is why you don't want to stand out. If everybody in your environment dresses bad, would you want to dress bad as well to avoid to stand out?

 

[mak1277]

My point is why you don't want to stand out. If everybody in your environment dresses bad, would you want to dress bad as well to avoid to stand out?

You know it’s possible to dress well without wearing tailoring right? That’s all we’re trying to solve here.

 

[DorianGreen]

You know it’s possible to dress well without wearing tailoring right? That’s all we’re trying to solve here.

If you will dress better than your peers, no matter which style, you will always stand out.

But slowly this discussion is getting tiresome: let's agree to disagree.

 

[mak1277]

If you will dress better than your peers, no matter which style, you will always stand out.

But slowly this discussion is getting tiresome: let's agree to disagree.

I completely agree that you’ve made no effort to help the OP with his question.

 

[FlithyButler]

You know it’s possible to dress well without wearing tailoring right? That’s all we’re trying to solve here.

I don't think he believes it is possible (though likely won't admit that).

 

[pasadena man]

Everyone else can pound sand. Be the solution.

"We are the ones we've been waiting for"-Barack Obama

 

[MaE]

I feel a bit sorry for the OP here.

The questions asked are interesting and a lot of people working in more casual environments face the same type of problems. It absolutely has nothing to do with self-confidence and I don’t even know why the discussion took that direction in the first place.

I work in a super casual environment as well and sometimes like to dress up a bit. In terms of shirting, I think that an OCBD was always and will always be super versatile. It can be dressed up, dressed down, worn with a tie, without a tie and with 2 or even 3 buttons open, the sleeves can be rolled up depending on the weather/temperature, etc. If even an OCBD is “too much”, long-sleeves cotton pique polos can be a good alternative. The only problem is that most polos have collars that are quite tiny and tend to “collapse” during the day but some brands offer interesting products in that regard. During the wintertime and in terms of trousers, something that works quite well are corduroy trousers or even 5 pocket trousers. The material looks nice, is soft and super comfortable and if it’s not too shiny, can be super versatile. In terms of shoes, a pair of casual derbies are always nice. I have a pair of Paraboot Michael (other brands offer tyrolean shoes as well) that are nice quality wise, look good and still are pretty casual without being boring white sneakers…

Just my 2 cents, hope this helps

 

[Jason12]

I wear a sport coat only once a week at most but with office peers that wear trousers/chinos and shirt. Here are some ideas I use and many more on blogs like permanent style

Suede bomber jacket in brown, navy, tan or olive chinos, stripe oxford shirt. Can replace chinos with any non-shiny wool trouser such as flannel

Can replace suede jacket with

Chore coat from a menswear brand such as g inglese or Spier Mackay. They are made from finer wools and cottons without a boxy workwear cut

Field jacket or other traveler jacket in sport coat materials such as from Cavour

I highly recommend the stoffa traveler jacket for the daily commute but it is very expensive

Chunky cardigan such as stand up collar cardigan (see Zanone chioto or Kamakura shirts version) or Zip up/shawl collar cardigan (many brands make this e.g. Luca faloni, drumohr, colhays, William Lockie, drake's, the armoury)

For shirt replacement how about adding a pique polo (look for ones with a shirt collar like the armoury, natalino or Spier Mackay)

Or knitted polo in merino or cotton. The anthology has some good ones as does most menswear brands

Or knitted t shirt (basically a short sleeve sweater not a normal t shirt) in the most casual circumstances

 

[double00]

I completely agree that you’ve made no effort to help the OP with his question.

sounds like op had a fairly well developed personal style and is now abandoning that to avoid getting comments from coworkers . if he's not getting the answer he wants here maybe he should just ask his coworkers what to wear

 

[1969]

I should have specified that I am not interested in encouragements or discussions about the decline of formal dress, as well meaning as these might be.

I am rather interested in ways to dress interesting without simply reverting to business casual shirt + chinos. There is the more workwear-Americana inspired path, but I just do not like jeans material. I think keeping the same items but shifting the colour scheme to dark or even black might also actually work and be more acceptable in the city, where an all black outfit is standard.

Look at brands like Officienne General, Barena, even Loro Piana etc for inspiration. Look at the NMWA thread, 45bur just posted a great black and brown outfit. I wouldn't recommend wearing a lot of black, but a more muted color pallate (brown, ecru, charcoal, etc) in solid colors and *slightly* more contemporary brands will go a long ways. Warning, you'll probably spend more money this way and still make mistakes along the way.

 

[ppk]

Look at brands like Officienne General, Barena, even Loro Piana etc for inspiration. Look at the NMWA thread, 45bur just posted a great black and brown outfit. I wouldn't recommend wearing a lot of black, but a more muted color pallate (brown, ecru, charcoal, etc) in solid colors and *slightly* more contemporary brands will go a long ways. Warning, you'll probably spend more money this way and still make mistakes along the way.

I would add Division Road to this list. Another one is Beams Plus, you can actually get their stuff on Amazon Japan, but you have to create a separate account. Your normal Amazon account won't work.

 

[Franky]

I am in your same position. My boss's boss wears gym shorts to work sometimes and even the C suite is hardly seen in a tie. I just go with an ivy-ish style without the jackets or neckwear and its just nice enough to not call too much negative attention while still letting me feel good about my style.

You have to be situationally aware and not alienate people in corporate environments. That's just a fact of life. If you have an attitude of "ill wear what I like and others can deal with it" while suiting up around dudes in super casual wear you're lacking a basic understanding of corporate life and how to navigate a career imo. It's the same as wearing shorts in a very dressed up formal environment.