Help decorate my office!!! (pics inside)

[Don Carlos]

+1 on the books recommendation. If the space permitted, which I'm not sure it realistically does, I'd recommend a bookshelf instead of that chest of drawers. Nothing sells "knowledgeable" like a shelf full of weighty tomes. Seriously. Just make it look as if they're often read, even though they never will be.

 

[phoenixrecon]

buy lots of big books and keep them open on your desk...

war and peace would work, maybe crime and punishment..

dont use the dictionary or encyclopedia or they might find your a fraud.

Fill the books on a book shelf that's in clear view.

Cut the pagers out of said books and hide flasks of whiskey and scotch in them.

get a desk that has a secret drawer that has a place for old 70s play boys and cut out all the nudes so if anyone find them they will know your only reading them for their interesting perspective on the events and times of the past.

then get a bottle of gold bond and replace the contents with pure Colombian cocaine. use freely in the office.

get a worlds best boss mug and show it to everyone int he office. Its best to have multiple variations of these. best dad etc. keep them in prominent places in the office and say they were given by close friends or coworkers.

get blinds for that window so they cant see you jacking it half the day

 

[Duff_Man]

^ This is the best advice I've ever read in my entire life.

 

[Reborn]

Get some old stock certificates and frame them. Old people love that. It reminds them of the day when people used to actually see the stock. It also might trick them and help them forget some punk ass 20 something is giving them financial advice. You'll want to do anything to you can to prove that your knowledge of investments goes back further than 10 years, even if it doesn't.

 

[LabelKing]

Get rid off of that fake wood furniture to begin with.

 

[Michigan Planner]

Open the blinds to the exterior window and clean all the crap off the desks. Sunlight and less clutter will solve about 90% of the problem.

 

[TylerDurden]

Make it look like madmen:

-wood panel the walls -goto the local thrift store j/k Get some nicer blinds then the el crapo cheapo white blinds. Have the outside window blinds open, put some blinds on the inside window. Add a book shelf, put fancy books in it. A nice clock and an antique that has to do with finance. A conservative piece of art in a nice frame. Clear off you desk. Just have your monitor and keyboard/mouse on it. Try to minimize wires. Have a deskmat, and a nice pen. Put a real plant in there, something green that freshens the air, something that won't cause allergies. You are marketing your self through your office as well as through what you do.

 

[Don Carlos]

If you're in a meeting with a client and you accidentally fart, look around shiftily for a second, then look back at the client and say "Umm...you did it."

 

[robbie]

Get a subscription to middle of the road, non-issue magazines like arizona highways or something .

Get a bowl, fill it with expensive looking candy.

Don't bring a guitar to work, don't put up pictures of yourself as mr rock and roll with your guitar.

you work in an office thats bland on purpose, trying to spice it up too much is going to make you look like an ass, and overachiever, or both.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by phoenixrecon

dont use the dictionary or encyclopedia or they might find your a fraud.

 

[henrikc]

I agree with getting blinds for the inside window, and open those to the outside.

Also, move that computer down on the floor. Get rid of the speakers or at least hide them. I'd also get a second monitor, preferrably bigger than the one you currently have, and hook it up to your computer. Take the old screen and mount it on the wall or on a swivel, and use that for presenting numbers and stuff to clients.
Get a larger bookshelf and fill it up, and get some nice-looking boxes for papers that you can't archive yet, but don't need on a day-to-day basis.

 

[wetnose]

Wow....you have 3 (three) standing lamps in there?

 

[GlenCoe]

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

If you're in a meeting with a client and you accidentally fart, look around shiftily for a second, then look back at the client and say "Umm...you did it."

 

[legit]

Originally Posted by wetnose

Wow....you have 3 (three) standing lamps in there?

Jesus, I noticed the first two... but a third?

Maybe the new guy gets the office storage closet.

 

[gibson55]

Originally Posted by legit

Jesus, I noticed the first two... but a third?

Maybe the new guy gets the office storage closet.

What other lighting options do you guys suggest? I didn't think the floor lamps were that bad, since they match the furniture and it takes three of them to provide enough light. You guys have any other suggestions?