Fatherhood

[bigasahouse]

I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm going to be a father. It came as a surprise, and I think I was in shock for about a week or so. I'm 30 and married, so we're in a good situation but it wasn't planned. I'm excited, but at the same time, I'm a little sad about the part of my life that is going to be gone.

This will be my first child, so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on kids. Thanks in advance.

 

[acidboy]

first off, congratulations!

here's what I can share:

- trust your instincts
- don't believe all the b.s. in those baby books and magazines
- enjoy your time with your kid, but also find time being alone with the wife/partner
- kids needs parents to guide them, not to be their enablers or friends

 

[bigasahouse]

Thanks. I really appreciate the advice. We definitely are going to make time to spend by ourselves as well. Funny thing is, we were going to go to Europe for the first time this spring. We're going to postpone this now, but we're thinking about maybe going next year. I'm not sure if that is going to work though leaving a 1 year old with the grandparents.

We're also talking now about how we want to handle certain situations and raise them, but I guess you can't really plan it all out. You just figure it out as things happen.

 

[SpooPoker]

As a 1st time dad of a 5 month old, here are my absolute best tips for you :

- ENJOY YOUR SLEEP NOW. It will be perforated from the day of birth on.
- Do **** you can do without 3 hours of packing and preparation and both hands free while you can
- Buy a tub of hand sanitizer
- Suck up any drama your wife throws at you. She is passing a child through her ******. She can do what she wants.
- ENJOY YOUR SLEEP NOW.
- Go out to restaurants 7 nights a week. You will miss them.
- Sleep late.
- Buy condoms.

edit - almost forgot to add - stop being on time going places. That will change, according to your babies mood/needs. May as well set a standard now.

 

[Douglas]

Congrats. I am a new dad; 7.5 month old daughter. It has definitely been a change, but you have 9 months to get ready for it. I am about your age, a couple years older but not much, and you'll be amazed how things just sort of change on their own. Don't fret too much about it; just enjoy the ride, be a good partner to your wife, and you'll find yourself slowly settling into a routine where Friday and Saturday nights don't have to be spent out til all hours drinking. You'll find you can actually get a lot done on a Saturday morning, and it's good. You'll just find yourself naturally doing things you resisted before, stuff like taking out the trash or cleaning up behind yourself all the time. I've found it's made me a better person.

If it goes for you anything like it's gone for me, it will all be more than well worth it. It's an amazing time of life for you, your wife, and of course your baby, and it's immensely rewarding. As others have indicated, trust your instincts - books are ok, but I found most to be awfully patronizing, like they were written for frat kids or something.

Aside from that, try to eat healthy. Encourage your wife to breast feed - it's good for baby but it's even better for mama. It's like the most amazing diet she's ever been on. She can eat like a horse and she'll lose weight. My gf was 20 lbs. lighter 3 months after the baby than she was before we got pregnant, and she was eating everything in sight and not making any special effort to exercise.

Get her a full body pillow. She will not sleep for the last 3-4 months so you have to do everythign to make her comfortable.

Good luck!

 

[Reggs]

Wash it regularly. I hate parents who have dirty oily babies.

Do not show pics of it unless asked.

 

[Gravitas]

Originally Posted by Douglas

My gf was 20 lbs. lighter 3 months after the baby than she was before we got pregnant,

Douglas, what is it like being pregnant?

 

[A.K.A.]

Congratulations on your impending bundle of joy.

Love for the kids comes naturally, but they are secondary to the relationship between the husband and the wife.

Don't try to be your kid's best friend.

Raise your children to be respectful, self-sufficient human beings.

None of the above is easy or popular.

Do the above and you will be doing everyone a favor.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by Douglas

Congrats. I am a new dad; 7.5 month old daughter. It has definitely been a change, but you have 9 months to get ready for it. I am about your age, a couple years older but not much, and you'll be amazed how things just sort of change on their own. Don't fret too much about it; just enjoy the ride, be a good partner to your wife, and you'll find yourself slowly settling into a routine where Friday and Saturday nights don't have to be spent out til all hours drinking. You'll find you can actually get a lot done on a Saturday morning, and it's good. You'll just find yourself naturally doing things you resisted before, stuff like taking out the trash or cleaning up behind yourself all the time. I've found it's made me a better person.

If it goes for you anything like it's gone for me, it will all be more than well worth it. It's an amazing time of life for you, your wife, and of course your baby, and it's immensely rewarding. As others have indicated, trust your instincts - books are ok, but I found most to be awfully patronizing, like they were written for frat kids or something.

Aside from that, try to eat healthy. Encourage your wife to breast feed - it's good for baby but it's even better for mama. It's like the most amazing diet she's ever been on. She can eat like a horse and she'll lose weight. My gf was 20 lbs. lighter 3 months after the baby than she was before we got pregnant, and she was eating everything in sight and not making any special effort to exercise.

Get her a full body pillow. She will not sleep for the last 3-4 months so you have to do everythign to make her comfortable.

Good luck!

This is why I will never have children...

 

[munchausen]

Originally Posted by acidicboy

first off, congratulations!

here's what I can share:

- trust your instincts
- don't believe all the b.s. in those baby books and magazines
yes. Read up, because being prepared is good, but don't let it turn you into a spaz. Keep in mind that children were being born for millions of years before anyone wrote a book about it, and they still survived. You're going to screw up. A lot. Your parents did too, and you came out alright.

- kids needs parents to guide them, not to be their enablers or friends

'nuff said

 

[Douglas]

I'm sorry to have let you cool single guys down.

 

[Lady Canuker]

Lots of great advise so far! From a Moms perspective (One 5 year old and one due in 2 weeks), don't wait for the baby to arrive before becoming an active participant. In other words start as you mean to go on. Attend the prenatal appointments when ever possible, read whatever your wife is reading in regards to the pregnancy, ask questions, discuss worries hopes & concerns. My Husband has done all of this and it has made me feel very positively about the future and how we will do as parents to the new little one as well as the Little Miss. I know I have his support and that is so very important

Congratulations and Good Luck!

Edit: One book I would highly recommend for you is Dad's Pregnant Too, best book geared towards fathers I've ever read

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

This is why I will never have children...

I suspect that due to the type of woman I prefer that I will spawn little GQdevilchildren at some point, but ya, +1. And I'm putting it off for as long as possible.

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

I suspect that due to the type of woman I prefer that I will spawn little GQdevilchildren at some point, but ya, +1. And I'm putting it off for as long as possible.
Guys?

 

[unjung]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

I suspect that due to the type of woman I prefer that I will spawn little GQdevilchildren at some point, but ya, +1. And I'm putting it off for as long as possible.

Conne is barren.