White Tie wedding advice

[LunarNoble]

Hello everyone, I’m getting married in July and wanted to wear white tie for the occasion, and my groomsmen will be wearing black tie (similar to the wedding pictured below.) Living in the US there don’t seem to be many readily available options for RTW evening dress, and I’m also distrustful of rental shops near me for the same reason, so I’ve been left debating between trying my luck buying former rental suits from eBay (After Six brand) and having them tailored, hunting to find a vintage suit (no luck so far), importing overseas from Europe/UK (many are in person only it seems), or going bespoke.

Does anyone have any recommended vendors or options? I live in LA and so have access to local shops like Divij Bespoke, but would prefer to keep things more budget friendly if possible. Ideally I’d like to keep it under $1k, but can go for $1-2k if it seems worth it, it just seems hard to justify as there are no white tie events for me to re-use it for. Maybe this can serve as a good excuse to start attending some of the Viennese Balls, which I’m heartened to see several users on here attend.

Any advice or recommendations would be appreciated, thank you!

 

[classicalthunde]

Does anyone have any recommended vendors or options? I live in LA and so have access to local shops like Divij Bespoke, but would prefer to keep things more budget friendly if possible. Ideally I’d like to keep it under $1k, but can go for $1-2k if it seems worth it, it just seems hard to justify as there are no white tie events for me to re-use it for

Honestly, don't think you'll find RTW White Tie under $1K...there is very little overlap of people who are both budget conscious and need a White Tie rig.

Ede and Ravenscroft has RTW white tie, but even just the jacket will set you back $1K plus alterations, then the pants, then all the ancillary items. Divij could probably get it done around the $2-2.5K mark, but even that might be a stretch with the unique cut of the jacket and vest, etc.

Its your wedding, so follow your dreams...but if I was in your shoes, I would (and did) use the excuse to get a killer tuxedo that I could re-use down the line. If you still wanted to stand out a bit, you could opt for a white dinner jacket...

 

[LunarNoble]

Thank you for the candid advice. I have weighed the idea of getting a custom double-breasted tuxedo that could easily be re-used, but as of now I prefer the look of white tie enough that I think I'm going with that. I have family in Amsterdam that has connected me with a tailor who said they're willing to make a full suit for me so long as I provide measurements and have a video consultation. This shop (De Oost) seems to do white tie fairly often so I'm hopeful that they might be more familiar with what's needed for general cut and shape compared to regular suits and black tie. I'll also be reaching out to Divij and other tailors that I know will be in LA soon to get a comparative idea on pricing and timelines before making a final decision.

 

[maxalex]

One of the advantages to manhood (beyond the ability to relieve ourselves anywhere) is that we get to dress for our wedding in clothes which we can wear again someday. Brides, by contrast, traditionally wear a very expensive onetime outfit.

This is an advantage not to be ignored. If, as you say, you are unlikely to ever wear a tailcoat again, you’re investing a significant amount in what is essentially throwaway clothing. Which makes it actually a poor investment, in the sense of future reward.

I get it—weddings are cosplay for lots of people (especially women with princess fantasies). But if you can resist that urge and buy a versatile tuxedo, it will last decades assuming you don’t gain much weight; mine is now 34 years old and I wear it once or twice a year.

And you needn’t pull it out of the closet only for special events; just go out to dinner in it sometime. (People will assume you’re off to a grand soirée; let them.)

Were money no object, I would say fine, get a onetime MTM tailcoat for your white tie wedding. Then stash it in a box that your kids will find in your attic when you die. (Sorry, that’s what happens.)

But it sounds like money is an object, as for most of us. This affords an opportunity to consider your wedding, in ways both sartorial and emotional, as merely the first day in a grand lifelong adventure.

 

[ValidusLA]

I get it—weddings are cosplay for lots of people (especially women with princess fantasies). But if you can resist that urge and buy a versatile tuxedo, it will last decades assuming you don’t gain much weight; mine is now 34 years old and I wear it once or twice a year.

Yes.

I've written this so many times on SF, but here we go again.

WT and BT are not an individual choice you make. Its a dress code for an event.

If you want to wear WT. Throw a WT wedding. If your groomsmen will be in BT, you should be too, and you should make your invite "Black Tie," or "Black Tie Preferred."

 

[LunarNoble]

Apologies on the delay in responding but I’ve been traveling. The issue of “cosplaying” or larping as something I’m not has been a concern of mine since the start of this process. I definitely want my attire to be elevated and traditional for this occasion, but cannot make my social circle commit to full on white tie, so initially I thought the differentiation of groomsmen in black tie and groom in white tie might be visually pleasing. The issue of it being too much of a “cosplay” bothers me a little but I’ve been to weddings where the main couple wears something even more elevated yet traditional such as a qipao or jodhpuri without having that as the set dress code for everyone, and it has looked quite nice without being a faux-pas. My intention was to have something like that but in a traditional Western style.

The cost to achieve my vision without any hope of re-using the suit does sting however. So I have an alternate idea that I’d appreciate some feedback on.

I’m weighing the idea of doing a custom tuxedo with some vintage/unconventional stylings. After thinking on it I’ve realized what draws me to white tie is:
* the extremely low and wide silhouette of the jacket and horseshoe waistcoat pairing, which can be done in a tuxedo
* the wingtip collar (which can also be worn with a tux)

So I’m considering shifting my attire for the wedding day to be like the outfit on the left, sans bowler hat, and with a wingtip collar shirt instead (same as the evening dress on the right.)

It’s hard to find modern images that resemble this as a visual reference, one of the closest is from the Ralph Lauren Fall 2020 Lookbook, which creates a black tie look by basically taking evening dress and cutting off the tails, and making the waistcoat and bowtie black.

The suit jacket is way too extreme but the lower cut and broader lapels is closer to what I’d be aiming for.

Another useful reference is this tuxedo from SuitSupply:

This is nearly ideal, I would simply want the waistcoat and bottom of the lapels brought down slightly, and the lapels to be broadened a bit as well. Lastly, I’m also debating going double-breasted for the waistcoat to add some fun flair, especially when I take my jacket off for dancing. I’m debating back and forth on this.

Overall though I think this is a nice compromise that still fits my vision and could serve as a nice custom suit that I could wear on my big day, but also to wear for future weddings and formal events. Any thoughts? I would appreciate any feedback.

 

[maxalex]

Apologies on the delay in responding but I’ve been traveling. The issue of “cosplaying” or larping as something I’m not has been a concern of mine since the start of this process. I definitely want my attire to be elevated and traditional for this occasion, but cannot make my social circle commit to full on white tie, so initially I thought the differentiation of groomsmen in black tie and groom in white tie might be visually pleasing. The issue of it being too much of a “cosplay” bothers me a little but I’ve been to weddings where the main couple wears something even more elevated yet traditional such as a qipao or jodhpuri without having that as the set dress code for everyone, and it has looked quite nice without being a faux-pas. My intention was to have something like that but in a traditional Western style.

The cost to achieve my vision without any hope of re-using the suit does sting however. So I have an alternate idea that I’d appreciate some feedback on.

I’m weighing the idea of doing a custom tuxedo with some vintage/unconventional stylings. After thinking on it I’ve realized what draws me to white tie is:
* the extremely low and wide silhouette of the jacket and horseshoe waistcoat pairing, which can be done in a tuxedo
* the wingtip collar (which can also be worn with a tux)

View attachment 2157631

So I’m considering shifting my attire for the wedding day to be like the outfit on the left, sans bowler hat, and with a wingtip collar shirt instead (same as the evening dress on the right.)

It’s hard to find modern images that resemble this as a visual reference, one of the closest is from the Ralph Lauren Fall 2020 Lookbook, which creates a black tie look by basically taking evening dress and cutting off the tails, and making the waistcoat and bowtie black.
View attachment 2157633 View attachment 2157635

The suit jacket is way too extreme but the lower cut and broader lapels is closer to what I’d be aiming for.

Another useful reference is this tuxedo from SuitSupply:

View attachment 2157639
This is nearly ideal, I would simply want the waistcoat and bottom of the lapels brought down slightly, and the lapels to be broadened a bit as well. Lastly, I’m also debating going double-breasted for the waistcoat to add some fun flair, especially when I take my jacket off for dancing. I’m debating back and forth on this.

View attachment 2157647

Overall though I think this is a nice compromise that still fits my vision and could serve as a nice custom suit that I could wear on my big day, but also to wear for future weddings and formal events. Any thoughts? I would appreciate any feedback.

That’s more versatile than white tie, especially as you needn’t always wear the waistcoat with the tux. Or the wingtip collar. For a later gala event or just a night on the town, you can wear a conventional collar and skip the waistcoat if you want a more contemporary look.