Family help really needed

[globetrotter]

good luck

 

[83glt]

Originally Posted by West24

then dont click on the thread, idiot.
Hey West, you wanna be friends? Why you always so agro with me bra?

I think my post is helpful if it discourages other would-be "family issues" posters from posting inappropriate threads. Consider it a public service.

Are you still not over the Iranian vs. Persian thing? Come on bra, take it easy.

 

[Davidko19]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

you may have heard it already, but the best advice i can give is just to pray.

pray about your situation to God and you'll have a peace of mind. He'll pull through for you and your family.

You can Pray or you can actually do something about it. Holding little conversations in your head to a make-belief friend isnt going to get you anywhere. Your 21, your a man. Do an intervention or something. Step up and be the big brother.

Sorry I dont have better advice than that, eventually she'll grow out of it. Its up to you to make sure she does it sooner rather than later and doesnt get tats or kids! Good luck.

 

[why]

West is a legend.

 

[83glt]

Originally Posted by West24

then dont click on the thread, idiot.
Incidentally West, the title of this thread, "Family help really needed", could mean anything. As I recall, I thought it was going to be some humorous thread where the OP described a fashion fatality father or other family member who dresses like Herb Tarlek, and advice was being sought. So not clicking on the thread is not the answer to these situations.

Obviously the actual subject of the thread is much different. Sorry if I was raised to believe airing one's dirty laundry in public is unbecoming.

Let's be friends West.

 

[BubblyMasquerade]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

i know how you feel and some things are just out of your control.

you may have heard it already, but the best advice i can give is just to pray.

pray about your situation to God and you'll have a peace of mind. He'll pull through for you and your family.

;/. when has that ever worked.

 

[BubblyMasquerade]

Slap some sense into your sister. Tell her what a fat pile of **** she's gonna be if she keeps it up.

To be honest, I'd probably homeschool her until college..

 

[j]

Originally Posted by 83glt

Incidentally West, the title of this thread, "Family help really needed", could mean anything. As I recall, I thought it was going to be some humorous thread where the OP described a fashion fatality father or other family member who dresses like Herb Tarlek, and advice was being sought. So not clicking on the thread is not the answer to these situations.

Obviously the actual subject of the thread is much different. Sorry if I was raised to believe airing one's dirty laundry in public is unbecoming.

Let's be friends West.
Maybe you can try, instead, not clicking on the entire forum. We try to help each other out around here.

 

[VKK3450]

Originally Posted by why

West is a legend.

A legend at gargling my ball sack.

The white ass little ball sack gargler.

K

 

[emptym]

IMHO, there are two possibilities. Either this a simple coming of age rebellious stage, or something tragic happened to her and she has lost her trust in the world and her love for herself. In either case, I would agree w/ the earlier post that your best role here would be to manifest love to her. You said it happened 8 months ago. Was the change sudden? Could there have been an event that triggered this, a breakup or worse?

Originally Posted by 83glt

...I think my post is helpful if it discourages other would-be "family issues" posters from posting inappropriate threads. Consider it a public service....
I'm w/ West here.

 

[83glt]

Originally Posted by j

Maybe you can try, instead, not clicking on the entire forum. We try to help each other out around here.
As you've made quite apparent. Thank you.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by rach2jlc

Anytime somebody posts this very serious life stuff, I have to ask, why ask on a general, clothing enthusiasts forum?
Rach, I enjoy your posts immensely, but in this case I think you are mistaken. In spite of the apparent anonymity a forum provides, I think StyleForvm is in many ways a gathering of e-friends. I know I've asked questions here that I wouldn't consider asking anyone but my closest, most trusted friend. That may make me weird, but there are many people here who I trust, and who's opinion I respect.

Originally Posted by 83glt

I don't come here to read about people's family issues, and I don't think anyone should be posting such stuff here.
So, as several people have pointed out, don't click on the freaking thread. If in the future you, by accident, stumble into such a thread, simply leave the way you came in, without leaving a trace of your presence.

 

[rach2jlc]

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

Rach, I enjoy your posts immensely, but in this case I think you are mistaken. In spite of the apparent anonymity a forum provides, I think StyleForvm is in many ways a gathering of e-friends. I know I've asked questions here that I wouldn't consider asking anyone but my closest, most trusted friend. That may make me weird, but there are many people here who I trust, and who's opinion I respect.
Thanks, Rube, and I definitely see your point now that you put it in that way. I guess, for me, my reason for my initial post on this thread is only that the seriousness of the OP's question seems one that needs... no... REQUIRES a knowledge of his specific situation in order to be of best benefit. It's a REALLY serious issue he has and general prescriptions may make the situation worse; it seems to me that a professional, or perhaps a priest/teacher/etc. who knows the family and can intervene is best. What if he trusts our word based on "e-friendship" and it makes the situation worse? We don't know his sister OR how she'll react to some of the prescriptions already made here. I mean, we have everything from "ask God to help you" to "tell her what a ********* she'll become." For something like, "recommend me a pair of shoes," no biggy to have a wide variety of options, some of which are total garbage. But, his sister and family seem to be teetering on the edge of collapse. To me, not a time to be asking "virtual" friends. But, again, I do see your point and hope that, whether from us or from others, the OP's situation is resolved in a way that helps everybody involved.

 

[Despos]

Are you the only one that sees the family crisis or do your parents realize these issues as well?

First thing you need is some support, either from an individual or a group. I don't think you have that or you would not have asked for help here. Do you have aunts or uncles that know what is going on or that you can talk to? The biggest problem in your family may be your father and his issues and I expect his lack of relationship or connection with any of the 3 of you. If he confronted his drinking and took positive actions it could turn the family around. These are my hunches, you may see things differently.

Reach out to and try to stay connected with your sister, be a safe place for her to turn to. That means not being judgmental, just being a brother and a friend. She is probably hurting, scared and not sure what to do herself.

There are lots of places to get help but you have to go and do it. Churches or your school will have family or personal help for you or suggest where you can get help. At 21 you are awakening to the family realities. Not an easy thing to grasp or deal with.

 

[countdemoney]

Originally Posted by mikeman

Ok,so i little background first.I live at home with my mom,dad,and sister who is 17,almost 18. Over the last 8 months or so she has basically just ruined every bodies life. She doesn't listen to anybody,she is basically failing out of high school and hangs around with these loser thugs.I don't know what her plans are for the future but they are not looking good. She skips school and doesn't come home some nights.I really wish i could say i don't care but i am not like that,and it is literally killing my parents. Both of them smoke,I am pretty sure my dad is now an alcoholic and to top it off there is LOTS of stress.It is extremely hard to see my parents go through this. Can anybody off any help or advice.I am 21 and this is really stressing me out.It seems that my once great family is now just deteriorating. Thank you in advance
That's a tough situation and I feel for you. For advice. First, stop worrying about what you can't control. Second, start figuring out what you control (which is yourself), and what you're willing to do. For me, I feel better when I can do things, no matter how small. I'd tend to look at your problems in ways that you can deal with them. Here's what I read: 1. Dad's maybe an alcoholic. I'd suggest figuring this one out first. There are a couple of ways to do this. I'd look to a guidance type counselor at school who will have specific training and be able to help you figure out if dad is an alcoholic and can point you towards resources that will be more appropriate for your situation if he is. a. If dad is an alcoholic, whatever is going on with your sister isn't going to stop dad from being an alcoholic b. your sister's drama didn't start him being an alcoholic. c. Only dad can stop dad from being an alcoholic. You can be supportive, and you can be a good son, but you can't change him. Recognize that and don't beat yourself up for it. 2. Your sister has something going on. Ultimately your sister will have to find her own way. Be a good ear to bend, let her talk. Even if you don't like what she's doing, or how she's doing it, she has a reason that makes sense to her. Let her tell you those reasons without you telling her how she's wrong. If it's simple rebellion, that should come out pretty quickly. If it's deeper, you're going to have a better basis to make your own decisions. In all of the above, look to take care of yourself. You won't be able to help anyone if you're just another part of the problem. Good luck.