Can you increase "chemistry" or is it just there?

[longskate88]

Originally Posted by munchausen

Seriously, what are you waiting for? The day you knock her up and you're stuck with her? Or did you already do that?

Luckily, she believes in abortion ; )...but no, didn't knock her up. We just agree on everything and get along well, and she understands me. It's hard to let those things go. Oh, and she knows about Styleforum...and likes me anyway. That's some point value right there IMO, haha

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

+1. I've had to break up with a really sweet girl because I flat out lost all interest in ********** with her. However, I noticed if the girl is very attractive, this is much less likely to happen. Add to that a great personality and I can't imagine it happening. So I don't think it is just some kind of esoteric chemistry concept - a lot of it is based on looks and personality (obviously).
my ex was undeniably hot, and yet I found myself in the same place after about two years with her. Nothing to do with looks. And no, there is no way to really turn that tide. I know couples who have been together 15 years and still make out like horny teenagers. I am jealous of them.

 

[tiecollector]

Spontaneity is the spice of life (and the Veronica Moser of Ed's Blu-Ray collection.)

 

[HedgeFundHotSHot]

Try tweaking with various variables such as the atmospheric pressure.

 

[superego]

Originally Posted by MrG

I think you can increase it, but that doesn't sound like what you're trying to do. For you it doesn't just sound like the chemistry isn't strong, or that the flame has died, it sounds like you guys have about zero chemistry. It's one thing to have 6/10 chemistry and try to get closer to 10/10 because it's worth the work in an otherwise great relationship. It's another thing entirely to have 0/10 and try to get, well, anywhere.

You talk about school work, and you look about college-aged in your picture. If you're this young and the spark isn't there it's probably time to jump ship. At your age the only time you should be thinking long-term about a woman is if the "chemistry" has you jumping each other's bones pretty much nonstop. The strongest thing about a relationship when you're young is the chemistry; it's the rest you learn later. If the spark isn't there there now, it's certainly not going to be there as you get older.

^^^What he said.

Personally, unless it's obvious to do so, I can't rationalize getting into a serious relationship before 25. There are just too many things shifting and changing to have to account for current chemistry and the way things will fall out once you've finished growing emotionally.

 

[username79]

Originally Posted by longskate88

That's the thing, I never feel angry with her. We never fight. I used to fight with my ex, but then we'd have crazy good sex and I liked touching her, hugging her, etc. That's "chemistry" to me. With the current girl, I simply have no urge to treat her as anything more than a friend. I broke up with her a couple months ago for a few weeks, and I didn't feel a damn thing. The only reason I'm trying again is the hope that something will change and I'll magically start loving her.
I haven't read the whole thread, but after reading this, it is very clear. You're friends. If it's not there you can't fake it. Also, no ****, but if that's her in the picture earlier then you can do much better.

 

[pseudonym]

Break it off.

If you're even going to this great length of questioning/doubting the relationship, it's just not worth it.

 

[willpower]

Attraction isn't a choice. You're either into her or you aren't. You aren't. If you dump her, don't give her any indication that you might someday change your mind and get back with her. That would be cruel. Also, don't be surprised if you find yourself regretting your decision to some degree, especially if you hit a dry spell.

 

[c3cubed]

Hire her as your secretary, put her behind a desk with a new Olivetti typewriter and call her 'hun'.

It might spark some renewed interest via un-pc behaviour.

 

[Bellum]

Originally Posted by gdl203

Run

Originally Posted by Mark from Plano

Fast

Looks to me like he could just walk away at a brisk pace..

 

[Unbreakable]

Give it up man, call it what it is and what it isnt. No sense in living life like that, Lifes too short to not be happy

 

[APK]

Internal chemistry is either there or it isn't for two people. I think existing chemistry can fizzle depending on a number of things, but if you don't have it to begin with, forget about it.

 

[Kd88]

Just get a marital aid.