Advice: What to tell my girlfriend

[Craiger]



What the OP's girlfriend is recommending isn't really black tie.  If 'most people' are dressing like what she wants, then the OP and his gf aren't attending real black tie functions.  So don't worry about it. Leave the tux and all in the closet.   Wear a navy solid suit (with some mohair would be nice) a white shirt, dark shiny tie, black calf oxfords and call it an evening.  Then treat the evening as reconnaisance.  If it's true that hardly anyone else is wearing a tux then you're cool as cabbage.  If not, then point this fact out to your girlfriend and head to the bar.  Wear your tux the next time, and wear it the way you want it. 

Now that's some damned good advice.

 

[EBugatti]



Reading some of the beta-boy replies here is excruciating.
Grow a pair and wear whatever the hell you want. If she gets legitimately upset over your proper outfit then tell her to go suck an egg.

This. Put your foot down man. Lead. Women like that.

 

[VinnyMac]

Explain why you want to wear what you do, and maybe show her a picture of the look that you're going for. If she still thinks that you'll "embarrass her," then don't wear it or just don't go. Stop being a dummy. It's not the end of the world, and you have a lot more to gain than to lose. A lot of the guys here don't have gf's/wives (obviously), so don't defer to them for matters like this one. They're playing "man amongst men" on the internet while you really have a woman.

 

[Thanks SF (a new me)]

during my swinging single days, I go with whatever I want to wear. Now that I'm married, nothing has change....wear what you want dog..woof woof

 

[yessur]

Not quite. A girl saying she's embarrassed by anything about me is grounds for banishment. But I suppose if you like her that's all that matters...
Personally, if my gf ever told me I could/should wear one thing and not another, I'd oblige on the condition she let me dress her. The ensuing fight would either lead to a breakup or make her realize how ridiculous she was being. Either way, problem solved.
God speed.

I was being sarcastic...i knew what you meant

 

[bellyhungry]

It depends if she is a keeper....

 

[Wallcloud]

This whole thread should have been over with the first reply. Dont let your woman dress you, you are a grown man.

 

[comrade]



I understand where you're coming from. Relationships are about compromise. While I myself am not bold enough to wear patent leather shoes I would be upset if my gf told me what I can and cannot wear. She has her opinions. Thinks my Alden Indy's look like Ronald McDonald shoes. Thinks my Navy Grenadine from Kent Wang looks boring compared to more satiny silk. Etc Etc. But at the end of the day, compromise and remember Happy Wife Happy Life. Some men here will tell you to stick to your guns and you should kick her to the curb, and while I agree that someone who admits they would be embarrassed to be seen with you is not really worth being with, I understand tempers flare in heated moments. 

Skip the patents and I guarantee she'll be okay with the rest. It can't mean that much to you. You're probably with her for many great reasons beyond your headbutting on fashion choices. 

My gf HATES some of my favourite ties and cap toed brogued allen edmonds shoes. things that get some major props here. She says "wear what you want. BUT I HATE that tie." and I say "thank you for your opinion. I will take it into consideration "

Minor point: Alden Indys do look like Ronald McDonald shoes.

 

[MikeDT]

 

[doriangray87]

Tell her it will embarrass you to wear what she wants.

 

[kev777]

Was thinking of some politically correct sorta answer here and then thought what would I do in this situation? Wear what the hell I like that's what I would do and if she's that bothered she knows the way to the exit !!!!! ! End of !!

 

[phoenixrecon]

This is as bad as when Im at work every grown association man has to "ask" if they can buy some shoes. At least with my gf we've made it pretty clear. I don't tell her how to dress and she doesn't tell me. Its actually funny because she says its more attractive that i can dress myself. And that does't mean she sometimes dislikes what i wear.

 

[Schadenfreude]

A grown man should dress himself, or have a valet do it. That being said, it wouldn't be a good idea to make a massive fuss over this. She does, after all, control the lady-bits in your relationship.

 

[unbelragazzo]

1) you're a grown man, you should be allowed to dress yourself

2) if she ever threatens to be embarrassed by you, to me this is kind of red flag manipulative non-keeper stuff, but obviously that part is up to you

3) objectively, your choices are more correct for black tie, and in my opinion as well as the vast majority of members here, much more elegant

 

[unbelragazzo]

But as to what to say to her, I'd go with something like -

I'm sorry you don't enjoy what I've chosen to wear as much as I do. But there's no reason to be embarrassed - if you take a look at blacktieguide.com, you'll see that everything I'm wearing is very classic black tie. For both this reason and the fact that I am so awesome, I hope that you always feel as proud and lucky to be with me as I feel to be with you.