Acceptable behaviour? Or "too far"?

[Faded501s]

Presto, the purpose of my post was more along the lines of...

Originally Posted by Faded501s

...and know that there are others that have it worse off than you.

It might not seem to mean a lot to you now but maybe it should. Sitting in the cancer ward talking to a guy who is going to lose an 8 year old daughter will put things in a different perspective. The same way it would for that guy to go to Ethiopia or some other place and watch a father helplessly watch his child starve to death...knowing that there is nothing he can do.

Something I've learned in life is that the things that really devastate you are the things you don't even worry about...the things that come out of nowhere and blindside you (like cancer). To me, there is nothing harder to deal with than the suffering of a loved one and being helpless to do anything about it. In comparison, the death of a loved one is much easier to cope with. The reality is that both are part of life for most people. And the reality is that the sooner one accepts this the sooner they will see how wonderful life can be and move on.

Life is not fair and terrible things happen to the best of people. That is life. It is not the things that happen but how you react to them that will make you happy or unhappy. It is YOUR choice. Ruining a shirt is a big deal to you right now because you are letting it be a big deal. There are many ways to cope but taking solace in the fact that there are others that have it worse off than me provides perspective for me. You have to ask yourself, "can I recover from this?" and not waste time moving on, if you can.

 

[Presto87]

Originally Posted by Faded501s

Presto, the purpose of my post was more along the lines of...



It might not seem to mean a lot to you now but maybe it should. Sitting in the cancer ward talking to a guy who is going to lose an 8 year old daughter will put things in a different perspective. The same way it would for that guy to go to Ethiopia or some other place and watch a father helplessly watch his child starve to death...knowing that there is nothing he can do.

Something I've learned in life is that the things that really devastate you are the things you don't even worry about...the things that come out of nowhere and blindside you (like cancer). To me, there is nothing harder to deal with than the suffering of a loved one and being helpless to do anything about it. In comparison, the death of a loved one is much easier to cope with. The reality is that both are part of life for most people. And the reality is that the sooner one accepts this the sooner they will see how wonderful life can be and move on.

Life is not fair and terrible things happen to the best of people. That is life. It is not the things that happen but how you react to them that will make you happy or unhappy. It is YOUR choice. Ruining a shirt is a big deal to you right now because you are letting it be a big deal. There are many ways to cope but taking solace in the fact that there are others that have it worse off than me provides perspective for me. You have to ask yourself, "can I recover from this?" and not waste time moving on, if you can.

Couldn't agree more! We take far too much for granted as individuals - and only know/realise their (loved ones - family or friend) value (to our lives) once they are gone (which is too late) ...

Again, I can't stress enough what I believe I stated in my opening post - the whole shirt incident IS trivial - and I KNOW that (trust me, I KNOW that) ... and I suppose the reason for even creating this thread in the first place, was to receive posts like yours! I know a lot of members hate reading the "value of life" type threads - but (even) at 22, given what I've gone through as well ... I find it comforting to know that there are others on the same page.

"It is YOUR choice" ... well said! I guess for me, it was a case of knowing that to be true ... but for whatever reason, not practising it.

 

[Egdon Heath]

Faded501 and I concur; he wrote it well and I agree. And there's no sarcasm from me in the thread (which is difficult).

Originally Posted by Presto87

I know a lot of members hate reading the "value of life" type threads - but (even) at 22, given what I've gone through as well ... I find it comforting to know that there are others on the same page.
I don't. But that's because I'm reading them; discussing out loud is a different matter. I'm not in a dorm room anymore (damn) and you're correct, I'm 64. Thrice your age almost. And before you go running from the room let me tell you that I'm still learning because, you see, I've never been this old before and I'm not quite sure how to go about it. If that's any consolation.​

 

[Presto87]

Originally Posted by Egdon Heath

Faded501 and I concur; he wrote it well and I agree. And there's no sarcasm from me in the thread (which is difficult).
I don't. But that's because I'm reading them; discussing out loud is a different matter. I'm not in a dorm room anymore (damn) and you're correct, I'm 64. Thrice your age almost. And before you go running from the room let me tell you that I'm still learning because, you see, I've never been this old before and I'm not quite sure how to go about it. If that's any consolation.​

A question for you: do you find it uncomfortable then, to discuss in person, these issues? I only ask, because I find that whilst some are open to healthy discussion on the topic(s) of life, mistakes, regrets etc. ... others steer clear. I had my sister (31 yrs of age, married with a 1 year old son) say to me about a month back: "why do you have to turn every conversation into something serious?" She went on to acknowledge the fact that she enjoys (what I call) "elevator talk" or "fluff" ... I find this extremely annoying ... I mean, if you can't share opinions/beliefs/perspective on life - with those that should be (some of) the most important people in your life ... then really, what is the point?!

"before you go running from the room" ... I'm one person who is more than willing to listen to the perspective/words of older people ... I obviously do not know you from a bar of soap ... but I find that EVERY person has a story to tell ...

Funny you should say that, I actually had my older cousin (28, I believe) say to me (after a 3 hour phone conversation until 3 in the morning) - that I had actually made her realise that age is nothing but a number ... she noted/agreed that it's about the experiences we go through (and how we choose to deal with them) that shape the person we become ...

 

[lee_44106]

you sure have lots of time to waste on the internet chatting with useless strangers.

Why not go find a job? do some graphic-designing like your major taught you?

 

[centrix]

post here: http://www.fmylife.com/ and get on with your life

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by Presto87

Curious to know your thoughts on this gentlemen:

I'm 22 (graphic design graduate, '08), recently resigned from casual work (call centre) due to management issues (amongst other things). First time unemployed in 4.5 years ... anyway, coming to the point ...

Monday morning ... doing the laundry after the weekend ... to find my favorite shirt with BLEACH stains on the collar (i.e. dye removed) ...

Back story ... been on an emotional rollercoaster ride all of '09, and even at 22 - have come to realise how trivial something like this should seem ... but can't manage to shake the anger ... REALLY bugging me - I'm guessing partly due to the fact that I'm in no position to replace the shirt ...

Reading this back, I don't know what my question really is ... but room for comments/discussion?!

Please post in the "Things that are pissing you off. " thread for related issues. Thank you.

 

[83glt]

Why?

 

[Egdon Heath]

Originally Posted by lee_44106

you sure have lots of time to waste on the internet chatting with useless strangers.
This from the man who, according to SF stats, has had 5,165 exchanges with useless strangers.​

 

[Egdon Heath]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

Please post in the "Things that are pissing you off. " thread for related issues. Thank you.
Back in September you and I shared a melancholy cyber moment about girls we passed up. I recall you (and me) unwantedly jarred to our senses by a very unsympathetic remark by Kunk. Who's the Kunk in this kid's thread?​

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by Egdon Heath

Back in September you and I shared a melancholy cyber moment about girls we passed up. I recall you (and me) unwantedly jarred to our senses by a very unsympathetic remark by Kunk. Who's the Kunk in this kid's thread?​

haha. i remember . but still memory cloudy. i was kidding with that reply. just being snarky. i love kunk though. what did i say about kunk?

 

[Egdon Heath]

Originally Posted by Presto87

A question for you: do you find it uncomfortable then, to discuss in person, these issues?
Yes. Unless everyone else in the room is 64. Which never happens. When they're younger, very young like you, they think your brain's on pause and that you smell funny. When they're older their brain is on pause and they do smell funny.
Consider this. School's out. You're in the wild, starting fresh. You must conduct yourself differently than with those your own age, very very differently. Not necessarily grownup (you may die before that state's ever reached). But you must use yourself to create yourself and that creation has to be something different. Don't ask me what or how. It may involve lying and bravado. You must do this soon. Gve yourself a year.​