Wedding Dress code: "No Jeans"

[jeff13007]



What? Seriously? I think you'd risk looking like a tool if you dress clumsily to avoid not looking dressed up - that's a tool. This is much along the lines of Manton's thread "Worst Look"; don't dress like every other person who shoots for the lowest acceptable level, if they don't want you in a suit they'll say "Please don't wear a suit".

Yes. Seriously. I never said to "dress clumsily to avoid not looking dressed up" i was saying he should be appropriately dressed for the occasion. I probably should have added that he should ask what is expected of guests. Lets put this into a different prospective 50-60 years ago if you were invited to a wedding in england and the attire they requested was lounge suits or w/e they called what we today know as a suit, and you showed up in a morning coat because you didn't want to "shoot for the lowest acceptable level" and then you claim well you should have said "please don't wear a morning coat" how would that make you sound?

P.S I'm totally in agreement that there should be a return to some form of formality in dressing. For me i really don't understand why people don't like wearing suits, in essence a well cut suit hides what is physically wrong with us, be it dropped shoulder, higher waist on one side, sloping shoulders, big chest/stomach etc and i have no idea why people are satisfied with a dress shirt, slacks, and a pair of square toed shoes. But with that being said you should respect the dress code set by the wedding party and if its unclear you should ask

 

[JonasAberg]

I always think it's a lot better to be overdressed than underdressed.
If you are wearing a suit and notice no one else is - just remove the tie and you're instantly dressed a lot less formal. If that still isn't enough - remove the jacket. Still not enough - roll up the sleeves, take off your shoes and walk around barefoot. However, if you arrive at a function and realize you are way underdressed there is very little you can do.

 

[Elegantly Wasted]

"You said no jeans!"

 

[Balfour]

I never said to "dress clumsily to avoid not looking dressed up" i was saying he should be appropriately dressed for the occasion. I probably should have added that he should ask what is expected of guests. Lets put this into a different prospective 50-60 years ago if you were invited to a wedding in england and the attire they requested was lounge suits or w/e they called what we today know as a suit, and you showed up in a morning coat because you didn't want to "shoot for the lowest acceptable level" and then you claim well you should have said "please don't wear a morning coat" how would that make you sound?

I'm afraid this example is not analogous to the OP's situation, nor does it work to rebut the argument that the OP should not wear a suit: A morning suit, as formal day dress, is plainly incompatible with the dress code indicated in your example (lounge suits). Dressing in a morning suit would breach the dress code stipulated. Suggesting that someone would need to say "please don't wear a morning coat" is really suggesting that they should define the dress code they have stipulated, not further refine it. In this day and age, that may well be sensible but it is not necessary.

In this situation, the only dress code that has been indicated is "no jeans". I agree that the trend towards increasingly casual dress is regrettable. But often the absence as to any indication as to dress is more problematic (the dress code at a funeral I attended recently was "dress as you please"). I agree that there are risks in turning up at an event with an extremely broad dress code and turning out to be the only person in a suit. But I also agree that one shouldn't seek the safety of the lowest common denominator. One has to try to make the best estimate (based on one's knowledge of the event and the other guests) as to where the centre of gravity is likely to be and where one wants to position oneself. I would seek to be at the more formal end, but not a complete outlier. A good option may be a more casual patterned suit, or a odd jacket and odd trousers than could be dressed up with a tie (or not) depending on the circumstances.

Of course, the best bit of advice in the thread may be to contact the wedding party. Although they too might be surprised by what people turn up in, they are probably likely to have a better idea of the tastes, &c. of the guests they have invited.

 

[Velophone]



But often the absence as to any indication as to dress is more problematic (the dress code at a funeral I attended recently was "dress as you please"). 

Nothing "problematic" about that: you simply show up in what makes you comfortable, as the deceased presumably would have wished. No risk of being in the wrong clothes there, which makes it a perfectly useful, if SF-unapproved, dress code.