Give your best advice to an expecting father

[NorCal]



Great thread guys. Lots of terrific advice and I'm sure I'll be back here again and again in the near future.

Right now, we're looking to purchase a good stroller/carseat combo. So far, the Britex B-Agile/B-Safe one looks like the forerunner. Anyone have any experience with them or other, similar ones that you'd recommend? The Britax looks and sounds great. People just complain about the seat being heavy.

We're also looking for a good crib mattress, preferably latex.

Thanks in advance.

I'm a bit late to the party, but congratulations to you and your wife!

 

[in stitches]

belated congrats to you, M!

 

[in stitches]



So, the missus and I were talking (entirely in the abstract) about what it would be like if we have another child.

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

One thing we discussed was the fact that a major contributor to stress during our son's first year was the fact that we were all constantly sick from the daycare germs. After the first year, it got dramatically better for all of us, and now MrsG and I are ill much, much less frequently than we were during that year. Still more than we were before having a kid, but we so rarely got sick pre-kid that even a couple/few illnesses a year is more than we'd experienced before. LowerCaseG is also less prone to illness, although he's still got a little bit of something more often than we do (which is to be expected).

All of this got us to wondering about what it's like with a second child. Obviously, just like LowerCaseG did, the new child will get sick all the time for the first year in a group setting, but have you guys with multiple kids found that you're better able to fight stuff off with kid two than kid one, or can we just pretty much plan on spending another year in illness misery? My inclination is that we won't get sick all the time like we did the first time around, since our bodies are already accustomed to the germ onslaught we've experienced with kid one, but I'd be interested to hear what you guys have experienced.

very cool that you are considering going for more kids, G.

ime, there was no influx of getting sick with kid #2 or #3, thank g-d. but tbh, i dont recall that happening to us with kid #1 either. maybe we were lucky? in any case, i endorse you having a second child, if that is worth anything, obviously i wont be the one charged with the child's upbringing so its easy for me to say go for it.

even if ya'll get sick for a bit, the joy is beyond worth it imo. one of the things we enjoy the most about having more than one child is seeing the siblings play so well with each other. beyond the relief of the kids having what do without needing us all the time, seeing siblings that you brought into the world who love and appreciate each other is a tremendous thing to behold. i truly feel blessed to have kids that get along so well.

whatever you do, i know you guys will be doing the right thing. i have seen your posts about family and clearly you guys are great parents who understand what it means to have kids and what factors into these important decisions.

 

[NorCal]

BTW M., I don't know if you pulled the trigger on the baby bed yet but here is a local source for organic/natural latex beds. I've been in and they are pretty chill.
http://www.foamorder.com/crib_mattress.html

 

[emptym]

Thanks guys! R, we did get a mattress. Just a spring one. Couldn't find a good latex one, but I should have thought of Foamorder. Plus, latex ones ones are significantly heavier than spring ones and we read that it can be a pain to change sheets on a heavy mattress in the middle of the night when the little one has an accident.

 

[globetrotter]



So, the missus and I were talking (entirely in the abstract) about what it would be like if we have another child. One thing we discussed was the fact that a major contributor to stress during our son's first year was the fact that we were all constantly sick from the daycare germs. After the first year, it got dramatically better for all of us, and now MrsG and I are ill much, much less frequently than we were during that year. Still more than we were before having a kid, but we so rarely got sick pre-kid that even a couple/few illnesses a year is more than we'd experienced before. LowerCaseG is also less prone to illness, although he's still got a little bit of something more often than we do (which is to be expected).

All of this got us to wondering about what it's like with a second child. Obviously, just like LowerCaseG did, the new child will get sick all the time for the first year in a group setting, but have you guys with multiple kids found that you're better able to fight stuff off with kid two than kid one, or can we just pretty much plan on spending another year in illness misery? My inclination is that we won't get sick all the time like we did the first time around, since our bodies are already accustomed to the germ onslaught we've experienced with kid one, but I'd be interested to hear what you guys have experienced.

my experience is that after the first kid we didn't get sick anywhere near as much, as a matter of fact, the twins didn't get sick anywhere near as much as their older brother. the whole daycare thing might be a once for a family event. but ****, I was so sick that year.

 

[acidboy]



Thanks guys! R, we did get a mattress. Just a spring one. Couldn't find a good latex one, but I should have thought of Foamorder. Plus, latex ones ones are significantly heavier than spring ones and we read that it can be a pain to change sheets on a heavy mattress in the middle of the night when the little one has an accident.

how's it going, m? looks like fatherhood has brought you to a new light.

 

[MrG]

Yes, m, give us an update!

(And add me to the list of people wishing you a belated congrats!)

very cool that you are considering going for more kids, G.

ime, there was no influx of getting sick with kid #2 or #3, thank g-d. but tbh, i dont recall that happening to us with kid #1 either. maybe we were lucky? in any case, i endorse you having a second child, if that is worth anything, obviously i wont be the one charged with the child's upbringing so its easy for me to say go for it.

even if ya'll get sick for a bit, the joy is beyond worth it imo. one of the things we enjoy the most about having more than one child is seeing the siblings play so well with each other. beyond the relief of the kids having what do without needing us all the time, seeing siblings that you brought into the world who love and appreciate each other is a tremendous thing to behold. i truly feel blessed to have kids that get along so well.

whatever you do, i know you guys will be doing the right thing. i have seen your posts about family and clearly you guys are great parents who understand what it means to have kids and what factors into these important decisions.

We never thought we'd stop at one. Truth be told, MrsG would probably have half a dozen if I were amenable to it, but I'm not inclined to do so. I love being a father, but I don't have any desire to have a litter. That said, I do want my son to have a sibling, both because I value my relationship with mine and because I'm afraid he'd end up with entitled-center-of-the-universe-only-child syndrome. That all being the case, when/if the next child is coming has become a big topic in our house, given I don't want them to end up being five or six years apart in age.

Getting sick definitely isn't going to stop us from having another one if we decide we want to. It was just something that came up as part of a bigger discussion on what it was like the first time around, and that made me think to ask what others experienced. If you didn't have it with kid #1, count yourself lucky. It was awful. Hands down the hardest part of my son's first year.

my experience is that after the first kid we didn't get sick anywhere near as much, as a matter of fact, the twins didn't get sick anywhere near as much as their older brother. the whole daycare thing might be a once for a family event. but ****, I was so sick that year.

This is good to hear, thanks. One thing I think of is the teachers we know who've had kids. They fared dramatically better during their kids' first year than we did with ours because they'd already spent a bunch of time around sick kids during the beginning of their career. Using that logic, I figure it should be easier with kid #2, and it sounds like that's the case.

And, yeah, it was staggering how sick we were for that first year.

 

[in stitches]

very good stuff, G. we definitely count ourselves lucky. although, its entirely possible only i didnt get sick and that is my memory, and my wife might have very different take on that entirely, but i think my memory is working on this one.

best of luck to you guys on this decision.

big plus one to "entitled-center-of-the-universe-only-child syndrome" being a reason to want more than one. though i do know quite a few only children that do not have that syndrome at all. good parents can remove that if they are aware of the potential issue, imo.

lastly, my wife is a firm believer that children should be more than 2 years apart, because she feels that it removes a good bit of the competition. lots of phycology there that i dont want to get into, but i dont totally agree. my younger brother is 22 months my junior, and while we are SUPER competitive with each other, and certainly have had our ups and downs, we do have a relationship that i cherish deeply, and would love for my children to experience that.