critique my interview follow up email

[jgold47]

Thank you so much for hosting me in your office yesterday.

I really enjoyed the opportunity to meet everyone and share what I have to offer to[company]

I would be very excited about an opportunity to come work for your company and I hope to hear from you soon with an offer.

If there is anything additional I can provide you to help make this decision, please don’t hesitate to ask.




The job is somewhat sales related, so I wanted to be a little strong.

Thoughts?

 

[Reggs]

I think you should add something specific about your interview with them. Continue talking about subjects that were brought up. If there is nothing to continue a pre-existing conversation, it's not a follow up. Here's a letter I once wrote:

Dear _____,

Thank you for taking time out of your day to interview me for the [title] position on [date]. The responsibilities of the position seem both varied and rewarding. I am looking forward to the announcement of your final decision.

The opportunity to work at ______ is exciting to me. It was great to have a conversation about marketing for a company I was already a customer of, in an industry I have always been passionate about. In the interview, the ideas about how I might apply myself in your company are ideas that I have executed at my current and former workplaces with success.

One of the most impactful ways I can help raise sales quickly is with lead generation for your sales team. By providing your sales team with high quality leads, their time will be more focused on closing, rather than prospecting for their own leads. In addition to this, my market research experience could give management valuable insight into what products are likely to succeed, and which will not, before they are developed and launched. The method I would use to manage ______’s trade show presence would create the most efficient schedule of trade shows to attend by gathering historical data that tracked the profit from each trade show to the dollar. As far as developing B2C sales, digital marketing in B2C is a large part of my current job, and I’ve already launched a new B2C side of my current business with quick success.

Thanks again for the opportunity to come in and discuss what could be added to your marketing efforts. It was great seeing the office and meeting you in person. I see a lot of marketing opportunities I can develop in ______ and look forward to answering any more specific questions you may have about my fit within your company. Since our meeting Tuesday, I have more ideas of how I can help the company become more profitable that I would like to discuss with you. Please feel free to reach out to me at the above contact information for any questions or announcements.

Kind regards,

___________

The body is filled with talking points we had face to face, and I wanted to end it by saying I had more ideas so they would be more interested in calling me back. I also used words like excited and passionate in the opening because they were extroverted and excited people. I would not write anything so emotional otherwise, but I wanted to mirror them so I would "fit in." I also faked being extroverted in my interview. This worked because a month after being on the job the CEO complained that I was not passionate enough. I sure fooled him!

If it's not too late, I'd also suggest sending a physical letter priority mail. People feel important when they receive a physical letter. I send my letters on ivory linen paper so it looks different from other papers on their desk and also feels expensive. If they associate me with wealth in some small way, I figure salary negotiations will go better in the future.