Bring me over! Please! Through some cosmic SNAFU I wound up in New York when it's clear that I'm meant to be an Italian. I watched The Great Beauty three times in one weekend because I couldn't take my eyes off the city.I'm American, from the same island, living in Italy for many years. I no longer recognize the country of my birth. And I meant no offense, except maybe to European royalty which I despise.
I promise this will be a decision you'll never regret. I will improve your quality of life in ways that you can't imagine. First, I'll work for you. I was a lawyer many decades ago (but I could still pick it up), an award winning journalist, a writer of limitless business purposes, a commercial photographer, and a widely exhibited artist. (The Louvre in 2015!) But never mind all that. I'll get you coffee, I'll pick up your dry cleaning, whatever you need. My Italian is a little rough but I'll pick it up.
This is great! I can already feel the chemistry. And the synergy. Buckets of synergy. You can sponsor me for visa purposes and I'll settle right in. Please! I'm begging you. This is a lifelong dream. Italians like New Yorkers, right? Think we're fast and hard working? I'm all of those things. How can we work this? What do you want me to do? I'm read to move tomorrow. Maybe next week, just to wrap up some loose ends, but soon. Get psyched, Max!