The State of Black Tie: Your Observations

[Lensmaster]

I recently was hired to do photography at a dinner for a local community nonprofit organization. I live in a small city in Michigan, so far from traditional formal society. My boss told me the event was black tie. I didn't see an invitation so I don't know if it specified Black Tie or Black Tie Optional or whatever. I jumped at the chance to wear my tux while working the event. There were quite a few men in some form of black tie, the rest in nice dark suits. I'm not going to quibble about the incorrect details on most of the men in black tie. I was just happy to see so many men make an attempt to fit the spirit of the event in the middle of Michigan.

 

[Veremund]

I bought silk ribbon off the Internet and turned them into laces. 3 bucks.

 

[Butler]

Correct form (to-day):

You specify the correct dress code for the occasion (day/night etc.) and include a voucher to the local rental place for a free rental (of course the rental place are instructed to only supply correct attire, in case of guests potential requests for coloured bows etc.)

One includes the cost in the overall wedding budget.

 

[Veremund]

I could not disagree more. If a guest is not willing to abide by a dress code, then they must simply decline the invitation. It's not the host's job to clothe his guests. As men, it is our duty to present ourselves correctly. Proper attire is fundamental to that duty.

 

[aravenel]



Correct form (to-day):

You specify the correct dress code for the occasion (day/night etc.) and include a voucher to the local rental place for a free rental (of course the rental place are instructed to only supply correct attire, in case of guests potential requests for coloured bows etc.)

One includes the cost in the overall wedding budget.

I have never heard of this in my life. This would literally almost double the cost of the wedding.

 

[Butler]



I could not disagree more. If a guest is not willing to abide by a dress code, then they must simply decline the invitation. It's not the host's job to clothe his guests. As men, it is our duty to present ourselves correctly. Proper attire is fundamental to that duty.

I should perhaps have mentioned that this procedure mainly applies to the US - we have a different view on this side of the pond. Allthough I agree in principle with you, I must say that when it comes to occasions in Europe where the host, for whatever reason, would like to ensure the formality/elegance originally intended for White Tie functions - and are pretty sure that not all the people he would like to see as guests, are in possesion of full evening attire - this procedure becomes more frequent, and is recommended by etiquette experts such as yours truly.

It is, alas, no longer a perfect world

 

[sugarbutch]



Correct form (to-day):

You specify the correct dress code for the occasion (day/night etc.) and include a voucher to the local rental place for a free rental (of course the rental place are instructed to only supply correct attire, in case of guests potential requests for coloured bows etc.)

One includes the cost in the overall wedding budget.

I like this. Thanks for the left-field perspective, Butler.

 

[Moloch38]

Well hopefully this will be a positive influence on some, Mad Men is on its way back:

 

[Moloch38]

Correct form (to-day):

You specify the correct dress code for the occasion (day/night etc.) and include a voucher to the local rental place for a free rental (of course the rental place are instructed to only supply correct attire, in case of guests potential requests for coloured bows etc.)

One includes the cost in the overall wedding budget.

I am by no means an expert, but setting aside a voucher for clothing guests who do not own Black Tie, etc is news to me.
As a southerner, where Debutante and Cotillion Balls are a frequent tradition, I find that many families and folks are far more likely to politely specify and strictly adhere to dress codes for weddings, parties, and events. While we do have many hot weather suiting alternatives like linen and seersucker, black tie has always been a measure of respect to the bride and the wedding families for evening festivities (even in Mississippi in July). I find that most White Tie is reserved for fathers and escorts at Deb balls while most other guests wear Black Tie or appropriate corresponding military formal attire.

 

[Veremund]

+1

I am by no means an expert, but setting aside a voucher for clothing guests who do not own Black Tie, etc is news to me. 
As a southerner, where Debutante and Cotillion Balls are a frequent tradition, I find that many families and folks are far more likely to politely specify and strictly adhere to dress codes for weddings, parties, and events.  While we do have many hot weather suiting alternatives like linen and seersucker, black tie has always been a measure of respect to the bride and the wedding families for evening festivities (even in Mississippi in July).  I find that most White Tie is reserved for fathers and escorts at Deb balls while most other guests wear Black Tie or appropriate corresponding military formal attire.

 

[musicmax]



Al Smith is dead.

You didn't get the joke. If I know what the Al Smith Dinner is, I obviously know why it's called the Al Smith Dinner and I know about its bullshit exclusionary policies.

 

[musicmax]



Lighten up, Francis. I didn't say any of what you ascribe to me. It's great that you run in circles where men still wear tuxedoes. This may be a function of your locale, not easily translated to other parts of the country. In my experience in Missouri, Texas, and California, I could count the number of non-wedding-party tuxedoes on one hand (this excludes iGent-type events, of course).

BTW, am I supposed to be amused, tweaked, or offended by your changing my screen name? Just let me know so that I can react accordingly.

Apologies for the latter - I was quoting from two different messages and botched your alias when typing it in manually. Or maybe I just prefer Vermont resorts to lesbian tops....

 

[musicmax]



Wait, so are you guys saying that if I'm invited to an evening wedding and the invite doesn't stipulate attire, black tie is fair game? Doesn't sound right.

By default, yes. But it's perfectly acceptable to query the bride or her mother if you don't know enough about the way bride and groom roll to make an informed decision one way or the other.

 

[musicmax]



This may have been addressed in the thread, but besides pumps and patent leather, anyone have good recommendations for shoes to wear with a tux?

Black velvet slippers, sometimes called "Prince Albert Slippers" are a historically-proper alternative to pumps and patent oxfords. There's a famous picture of Cary Grant, sitting cross-legged in a tux with black penny loafers, several pages back in this thread - search for Cary Grant and you'll find it. A well-polished black plain captoe (i.e. AE Park Avenue) or wholecut would likely suffice as well.

 

[TheFoo]



By default, yes. But it's perfectly acceptable to query the bride or her mother if you don't know enough about the way bride and groom roll to make an informed decision one way or the other.

Well, I cannot speak to other's social circumstances, but I will say that there's no way this makes universal sense. Of the dozen or so weddings I've been to over the past few years, most have been at night, and in no instance did anyone wear black tie unless instructed to.