Spanking

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by greger

You lack imgination. You must live a boring life. Have you ever done anything interesting? Or, just live a "safe" life?

Are you for real? First, you don't make any sense - at all. Second, are you saying my life would be less boring and more imaginative if I was regularly whacking my children? You've got one hell of an idea of fun. Gosh the world is full of weirdos....

 

[Piobaire]

It's interesting to note how some of the anti-spanking crowd presents their arguments. Repeated name calling, for instance or comments designed (in their mind) to taunt those disagreeing with them.

Very interesting.

I think some anti-spankers, like MfP, presented brilliant and cogent ways in how they handled discipline, so it's obviously not all anti-spankers...and he also was least dogmatic in his position.

Again, interesting.

 

[acidboy]

friend of mine, now 40, was often punished by his ex-nanny when he was a kid by dunking his head in the toilet... he claims thats what made him claustrophobic.

 

[JayJay]

^^^water boarding?

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

It's interesting to note how some of the anti-spanking crowd presents their arguments. Repeated name calling, for instance or comments designed (in their mind) to taunt those disagreeing with them.

Very interesting.

I think some anti-spankers, like MfP, presented brilliant and cogent ways in how they handled discipline, so it's obviously not all anti-spankers...and he also was least dogmatic in his position.

Again, interesting.

As interesting as the spanking wackos who think getting the switch was what saved them from prison or whatever and that kids these days blablabla?

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

As interesting as the spanking wackos who think getting the switch was what saved them from prison or whatever and that kids these days blablabla?

Actually, more interesting, at least to me. Repeated statements of "grow up" or "I'm grown up," matched with repeated name calling, makes me chuckle.

Please note, I'm not a spanking "wacko." While I am not 100% against corporal punishment, I certainly think hitting a child in anger, frustration, or with the intent to cause physical pain is probably a bad idea.

 

[RSS]

It's unlikely that my life's course would have taken me to prison had I not been spanked ... but spanking is an immediate punishment ... one of which I was not fond ... and which gave me pause -- albeit a rather slight one -- before committing any action that was likely to result in a need for correction. Other forms of punishment -- "grounding" for example -- had not the same level of dread. After all, I had the ability to talk my way out of it well before the period of grounding was over. But that was another time ... centuries ... I mean decades ago.

Would I spank my children were I to have them? Probably not. Times are different. In this day and age it's probably much more effective to limit cell-phone and text messaging capabilities ... or take away iPod usage. I might inflict a swift -- but hardly pain inflicting -- swat on the "seat" to get quick attention ... but only when gaining immediate attention is pertinent to the situation at hand.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

Actually, more interesting, at least to me. Repeated statements of "grow up" or "I'm grown up," matched with repeated name calling, makes me chuckle.

Please note, I'm not a spanking "wacko." While I am not 100% against corporal punishment, I certainly think hitting a child in anger, frustration, or with the intent to cause physical pain is probably a bad idea.

I didn't say everyone who was "pro-spanking" was a wacko, but we did get a disturbing number of anecdotes given by people who think being belted made them whole.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

I didn't say everyone who was "pro-spanking" was a wacko, but we did get a disturbing number of anecdotes given by people who think being belted made them whole.

Aye, some were odd. Others, I can actually understand. Being something of a handful as a teenager, and my mother being a single parent due to my father's death, I can say I probably would have been easier to handle if I knew a parental you could, if called upon to do so, could physically enforce punishments like grounding, etc. Sometimes you don't need to act physically, the implied threat is enough. It's how much of law enforcement works (or fails to work, as the case may be).

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim

+1 It's evidently pretty easy for people to forget that there really is no "right" way to teach or discipline all kids. There may be a "right" way to teach or discipline YOUR kids, but the one you are most comfortable with, may not be the "right" one for your child. That's a judgment call that as a parent you have to make for yourself. I've seen plenty of parents make the wrong decision. For some kids, spanking will work better than talking, or time outs, or diagrams, or reading a book, or learning by example, or anything else. For some kids, one of the other methods works better. The learning of discipline and teaching of how to behave should be determined by the child - not the parent. As a parent, you can say "I will never spank my child". And if your child needs to be spanked - you will have just failed to teach your child something they probably need to know. It's a much more complex dynamic than just stamping children out of a cookie cutter mold and expecting them to conform to whatever your ideal is. It's the goal of any educator, whether parent, priest, or schoolteacher - to get the point across. It's up to you to determine the best way to do that, of course, but a simple spanking is no more inherently generally "wrong" as a teaching tool than a time out. Depending on the child, they can both cause similar levels of trauma. That being said, many parents who choose to use spankings as punitive discipline, do so for the wrong reasons, and it gives it a bad name. I'm generally of the opinion that most people have little to no business being parents. In my eyes, ignoring your children can be just as bad as beating them.
This. Some kids need a spanking once in a while, some kids, less so. Sometimes my daughter requires a stern lecture, the anticipated swat (never comes out of nowhere, it's always, "Okay, I told you that you would get a spanking if you did not stop doing X, and you decided to do X right after I said that, so now you need that spanking") an elicited apology, and then corrective action on the child's part (e.e.g. cleaning up the mess they made when they threw the ball for the third time after being warned. Then, after she recovers emotionally in the corner, she seems to retain an idea of what she did wrong, and to not do it again (she is a few months from being 3.) Boys seem to need a little more. I think that physical labor gives them time to think about things. "Okay, here's that rap on the head. Now, 30 pushups and then you get to sweep the kitchen floor." The anticipation that the punishment is coming, and that it is punishment, is more effective than the punishment itself. My swats, honestly, are lighter than some of the roughhousing that goes on in the house otherwise.

 

[bigasahouse]

How about more studies, less opinion and anecdotes?

This one showed that spanking produces more productive adults:
http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle...ool_study.html

This one is a video which didn't state the name of the study, but said that it was a survey of 179 teens which found that children spanked from ages of 2-6 were more well adjusted as adults and did better at school. Spanked from ages 7-11 showed more aggression, but still "fared better." He
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bes...iref=allsearch


On the flip side, this recent study showed "spanking your kids may not only be ineffective, but it can backfire. Researchers at Tulane University found children who were spanked frequently at 3-years-old were 50 percent more likely to become aggressive by the age of five."
http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2010/04/1...iref=allsearch

 

[ejomby]

my son is 8. when he was 3, he had a major tantrum in a mall at christmas time. I picked him up to carry him out, and he wacked me, hard. I tried to get him to calm down, and he basically was yelling and fighting. so I pinned him down on the floor, and said, very calmly "I am bigger and stronger than you, and if you try to use violence then you will always find somebody bigger and stronger than you, so it isn't a good idea". he kept fighting, so I poked him with my index finger on his forhead. I said "see, I can hurt you with just one finger, do you really want to keep fighting?" he said yes, so I poked him again, and then he gave in and I made him appologize. about 3 months later he started to have a tantrum, and I showed him my index finger, and he calmed down. that was the only violence I have had to use on my son. his normal punishment (again, not very common) is that I make him bring me a toy and I either break it or put it away for a period of time.

Sorry to resurrect this thread from the dead, but I had to note that this is a great story and one that I will use as I raise my kids. Thanks.

 

[Reggs]



I didn't say everyone who was "pro-spanking" was a wacko, but we did get a disturbing number of anecdotes given by people who think being belted made them whole.

This!

I'm not very anti-spanking, but most adults who were spanked as kids creep me out with this stuff.

 

[JLibourel]



Please note, I'm not a spanking "wacko." While I am not 100% against corporal punishment, I certainly think hitting a child in anger, frustration, or with the intent to cause physical pain is probably a bad idea.

If you don't intend to inflict physical pain, what's the point in beating a child?

 

[NorCal]



If you don't intend to inflict physical pain, what's the point in beating a child?

I think he means that the intent has to be to correct behaviour in the most effective fashion, which in some cases can include spanking, as opposed to a desire to hurt or cause pain as an end of its own.