How To Figure Out Why You Want To Burn Fat and Build Muscle

[stevebensonite]

Hey Guys,

I've been dabbling in and out on this site for a long time, and finally signed up because

1. I need massive amounts of help

2. I feel completely alone in this


THIS being, I consistently struggle with my weight. The things is, I can't pin point exactly why I do. I have good genetics, drop weight fast, know how to workout, know what to eat, even got a PT cert.

But for the life of me, can NEVER follow through with losing weight.

I don't know if it's because I just don't care, or because I "understand" the process of doing so, or because I get results fairly quickly and don't feel I need to "prove" to myself that I can have a ripped and healthy body, so I quit after 3-4 weeks because I know I could just keep going at the pace I'm going and eventually be totally ripped and healthy.

The ONLY thing that *ever* got me to really care to get down to single digit body fat levels, was when attracting a specific woman was involved. That's the only thing that gave me sincere motivation to go "all the way" per se, and finish out the leaning process to get visible abs and cuts and etc. The discipline part wasn't hard when the opposite sex was involved.. (I got the girl).

I'm okay with where I am at with my body in general, so maybe I just don't have as much drive. I find it odd that I had so much drive when the opposite sex was involved.

I'm fairly successful in other areas of life so maybe I don't feel that I "need" it that much.


How about you guys?


What's the deep core reason you want to stay or get ripped and build muslce/ become healthy/better looking?


To gain respect of other men?

To gain respect of women (or your wife/girlfriend)?

To be desired by women because you are respectable?

To respect yourself more because you like what you see in the mirror?

To be more confident in your looks?

To look and appear "strong, and confident"?


Is it egotistical or is it based on a deep rooted insecurity?

Is it based on just a plain healthy desire to be more healthy?


I find it fascinating how the condition of our bodies and how we view them can really change our lives, for better or for worse..

What are the struggles/roadblocks in the way of you achieving your desired body/outcome?

Why do YOU want to change your body, get ripped and build muscle? What is the deep, core reason(s)? And what are the struggles (work in the way, no motivation, no guidance, no solid workout program, not sure where to start) that you have with achieving your goal?

 

[Jazsi]

Personally, I have been working out (weightlifting & cardio) for about a year now, while eating at a deficit for the majority of that time (currently cutting on 1500-1700 cals).

There are a number of reasons why I adhere to this new lifestyle, but the main one for me is finding someone. Until recently, I received virtually no female attention. That sh*t is depressing, man. So I nuked my diet, began eating well, and started lifting and I'm now sat here 20lbs lighter, with a considerably improved muscular base.

The comments I've gotten from almost all of my friends and family are nice, and the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin is great and uplifting, but that motivation and drive to continue comes from the fear of being alone.

#SoDeep

 

[Giordin]

Excellent answer man! Very honest. I'm surprised you are secure enough to be genuinely honest, I didn't think anyone would really be willing to lay out the truth of their situation. How is your progress going so far?

 

[Tangfastic]

Maybe not everybody does want to burn more fat and build more muscle.

As someone who started training and changing my diet nearly a year ago, for me I got to a certain level and was happy to maintain that rather than push it to get as ripped as possible.

I was motivated by probably an equal mixture of health and vanity reasons to start to lose weight - I'd got a visible beer gut and was worried about diabetes risk and so on. I dropped the weight in a couple of months but continued to train and eat well for the same mixture of vanity and health - I don't want to see a gut again and I want to keep healthy.

So for me the block is motivation, I just don't want to make further or more extreme changes to my lifestyle to change my body shape further. It's not that I wouldn't like a 'better' body all things being equal, but I think I have a nice balance of health and free time and slightly unhealthy food and alcohol intake. For me to give up alcohol and never eat something bad and to step up hours spent training aren't worth the trade off in things I enjoy in life.

I'm proud of the changes I've made, and have seen it's possible to go further and how to do it, it's just not worth it for me at this time.

 

[FlyingMonkey]

I suspect I'm quite a lot older than the first two posters and the posts made me a little sad. You guys are really looking in the wrong direction. Sure, it is good to be healthy, strong etc. etc. But my (reasonably extensive) experience, it pays far more to be a rounded and interesting person with something to say, and who is able to listen. And narcissistic people who are obsessed with 'abs' and 'cuts' are simply not interesting except to the most boring people. If you don't want to be alone, stop worrying so much about your 'desired body'. Train hard, sure, but do it alongside other things that build your personality and your experiences, not just your muscles.

 

[Christopher Essex]



I suspect I'm quite a lot older than the first two posters and the posts made me a little sad. You guys are really looking in the wrong direction. Sure, it is good to be healthy, strong etc. etc. But my (reasonably extensive) experience, it pays far more to be a rounded and interesting person with something to say, and who is able to listen. And nacrissistic people who are obsessed with 'abs' and 'cuts' are simply not interesting except to the most boring people. If you don't want to be alone, stop worrying so much about your 'desired body'. Train hard, sure, but do it alongside other things that build your personality and your experiences, not just your muscles.

I agree with this - coming from someone who is in his late 40s, women are far more interested in men that are confident and funny (ie - not too serious all the time).

If a balanced diet and workout regime bolsters your confidence (which it should do, unless you become obsessed with it), attention from women will come.

However, as FM states, well-rounded people with some interests other than vanity will significantly open up your possibilities to meet others of both sexes.

When you broaden your social horizons and relax and have fun with others, that's a powerful aphrodisiac. Besides, you would become easily bored with women that were just interested in how ripped you were - they are single-minded and lack any sort of substance. Those type of women are great for single encounters, but won't turn into any meaningful relationships, in my opinion.

 

[tesseract]

I like being strong and having clothing fit me comfortably. That being said I don't follow any strict diet and would rather not be in perfect shape and enjoy food and drink.

 

[Giordin]

GO FOR YOUR GOALS, MAN!

 

[JackScott]

I've started cutting/bulking and lifting in general to get stronger
and improve my athletic performance! on a side note-
i worked on lateral lunges today and am DEAD. really need to work on lateral
speed.

 

[anlebodys]

good,That being said I don't follow any strict diet and would rather not be in perfect shape and enjoy food and drink.thanks

 

[Brae12]

Cool!! Check out our blog post on exercising while staying sexy: http://bit.ly/2sQ6Spn

 

[TomDandy]

Hey Steve, I'm a newbie here...first post...and like you, I've been poking around this site/forum for a while. Yours is the question that made me finally sign up. I've grappled with the question you raise for much of my life, and my answer has changed over the years. For the sake of disclosure, I'll tell you I was overweight in my pre-teen years, and it left me feeling pretty crappy about myself to the extent that feeling good about myself has never not been a part of the reason I work to maintain my weight. (Sorry for the double-negative there!) When I was younger, it certainly mattered most to me to get approval from others, both male and female, for different reasons. In the case of the guys, I wanted to feel more like one of them; in the case of the girls, I wanted them to like me as something more than just a friend ("You're like a brother to me," might have been my epitaph).

I found out, of course, that those who really liked me were not remotely interested in my appearance. I also met someone wonderful who found me attractive enough to marry me. Over time, that affirmed my need for approval/sense of desirability and simultaneously took away my primary reason for wanting to lose weight.

So at this point, I do it for me. Being at the right weight makes my life easier. The one thing I never have enough of is time, and I like being able to pull out any item of clothing I own and know I look good enough in it to, in a sense, forget about it and focus my attention on more important things. Of course, this also requires some attention to making good purchases, tailoring and admitting when something is just not cut right for me, but if I wasn't interested in all that, I wouldn't be on a site like Styleforum in the first place!

As it happens, I read a piece yesterday over at The Art of Manliness that speaks to the question of mastery over things like diet and maintaining a fitness regimen. You might want to check out "Don't Take Marching Orders From Your Belly": http://www.artofmanliness.com/2017/...anliness)&mc_cid=7fdb1efd1a&mc_eid=f0397f64af I promise you, I'm not a shill for Art of Manliness, just a fan, but this article offers what I think is an exceptionally smart rationale for making good choices with diet/exercise/weight loss.

Wishing you all the best, Tom

 

[Reggs]

Currently it's all about vanity. I have a decent mix of male and female friends I get admiration from both sides. Guys will joke around about my abs, or just point out that I'm in shape, and women compliment me on it. If I'm shirtless on a day when I have very little water weight and they really pop, it gets noticed.

I also started to make out with a girl once, and as I moved my body closer to her she awkwardly reached up and touched my abs.

I by no means have the best physique around, but I'm ahead of anyone else in my social circle.